Nowadays, child labor has become a major concern. why it is so? What can be done to solve this problem?

#child #labor #concern

It is important that actions are taken to combat these problems. In order to solve

this

problem

Add a comma

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it’s necessary

first

that family nurture them to an interest in their studies and support them

also

provides them with psychological comfort and security because the main factor in the prosperity of children is the surrounding environment

as well as all they need

Add the comma(s)

, as well as all they need,

show examples

is peace and safety. Another answer to

this

pressing issue is to avoid falling into these crises, the law must prevent children from working and if they violate the system, will require them to pay fines. In conclusion, children are a new generation for

the

Change the article

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better future. Raising, taking care of and stimulating them is the biggest motivation to reach successful life and effective businesses.

However

, child

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

are

Change the verb form

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a victim of

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society.

In addition

, we should pay attention to the prevalence of

this

problem.

Submitted by arkoyusuf1998 on Sat Nov 07 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

146 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, child labor has become a major concern. why it is so? What can be done to solve this problem?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

1. Opinion Questions: In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to research other planets, such as Mars. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that climate has the greatest effect on people's way of life. Other believe that the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss Both views and give your opinion.