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Band 6.5

n many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The
cost
 of public
healthcare
 has grown due to a quick increase in elderly people in many different cultures. Some people believe that the future
cost
 of it should be paid by the citizens
instead
 of the governments.
This
 essay agrees that the population should be paid for the future treatments so the many spent on them before would be used on younger generations care.
Firstly
, the fact that the population is ageing is a good sign of the improvements made in the caring system and a change in the lifestyle so people don’t die at younger ages as in the old times.
However
,
this
 has created a misbalance on the
cost
 of public
healthcare
 and left many young generations without the possibility to get important treatments they need.
For instance
, in China
Add a comma
,
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the governments announced in 2010 that many cancer treatments will no longer be a public service due to an over
cost
 generated by the elderlies.
Secondly
, some societies are overpopulated and it would be impossible for the governments both to pay for a range amount of services and to pay for every age group. For
this
 reason, nations should make a research to see after which age the
cost
 of
healthcare
 increases and so they can make them pay the 75% of the
cost
 of the used services in the future times.
As a result
, the money would be spent in younger generations important treatments. In my opinion,
although
 I think it’s unfair to make people pay for their own treatments I believe it is the best option to keep the sustainability of the care system
besides
 of to keep the population away of dying soon. To conclude, the nations should make policies so the aged groups pay for the 75% of the services as
this
 will help to maintain sustainable
healthcare
 apart from not leaving people to
ie
Correct your spelling
die
show examples
 at younger ages.
Submitted by Anne on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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