In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits.

Due to the large interest in the relationship between equality and personal success, many people have started a debate regarding whether a person can achieve personal success in an egalitarian society where everyone is treated in the same manner or in a community where people are free to succeed or fail based on their own capabilities. I firmly believe that a combination of both equal and individualistic approach is the key to thrive.
To begin
with, gender equality is a subject we cannot neglect. Females’ roles vary in different parts of the world.
For example
, in western Europe women are respected and are accepted as individuals as much as men.
However
, countries in the Middle East are not so tolerant and women still remain inferior to men. In those countries ,women are not supposed to prosper on their own, because it is believed that men need to do both the physical and intellectual work.
This
shows us beliefs of not egalitarian societies are emphatic enough to stop some people from being prosperous.
On the other hand
, an individualistic approach is the
second
step of succeeding since living in an egalitarian community is not sufficient to prosper. After all, each person is responsible for their income. The egalitarian society can only create conditions for us to thrive and we should take the opportunities and make efforts to achieve a certain goal. On
this
path ,people are sure to encounter some obstacles because of the inseparable connection between failing and flourishing.
For instance
, many of the most affluent people are those who are not afraid to risk and fail. Overall, I firmly believe that a world where the combination of equality and individualism is the basis of having more people who realise their dreams. Being part of an egalitarian society gives us shared opportunities but it is our motivation and enthusiasm that leads us to success.
Submitted by mishast26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: