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Band 4.5

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #part #sports #teams #football #tennis
To keep ourself healthy and fit one should be involved in any
game
 .It may be
i
Add an article
an
show examples
ndividual
game
 of company
game
 but both the games have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own importance and qualities .Actually
Add a comma
,
show examples
it depends upon
person
 to
person
 to which
game
 they have interest in .
thier
 nature their hobby and
moreover
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 personality helps them to choose
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
game
 I don't think genetics would have any role in it. As far as simply playing a
game
 is matter anyone can play any
game
 but professionals and world-class sportsperson are very particular about
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 specific
game
.
Team
Add an article
The team
show examples
 played
game
 helps persons to work according to
team
 rules and regulations they bounded to play within
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 limit as in soccer backy players don't come forward, same way goalkeeper cannot play in front whereas in individual
game
thier
Correct your spelling
there
their
 is no
such
 boundation whole sole responsibility of winning
g
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ame is on individual sports
person
 head
however
 good thing is that all credit goes to one
person
 only. Any positive
person
 can take it in
g
Change the article
a
show examples
ood way, as in football if a
person
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 good and score more goal
then
 that
person
 may get
g
Add an article
the
show examples
olden boot and prove
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 individual capability as Pele, Messy and Renaldo
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 done. Some people may think that individual games are better as your individual decision and tricks at accurate timing and at
a
Add an article
an
the
show examples
ppropriate situation can make you win your
game
 but
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 take
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of energy and your skill to do so as
o
Add an article
an
show examples
pponent
person
 too have all that qualities
for example
 in tennis and swimming both
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 individual games need
l
Change the article
a
show examples
ot of energy and strength to win
game
 whereas in
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
 whole the time you
n
Change the verb form
do
did
show examples
ot have to use your power . In my opinion
team
game
 is better as it has both side win-win situation if individually do more good in
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
 you would be appreciated by all. If we don't get succeded to win the
game
then
 it would be considered as
team
 failure
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
not an individual one.
Submitted by drvaishalikhare on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
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