An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Obesity is a major issue today and it is a consequence of lack of physical activity. Children around the world are facing

this

Linking Words

problem and it could have serious repercussions in the future. There are various causes of overweight in the kids and of course

Add a comma

show examples

there is a number of solutions for it. I will be discussing it in the upcoming paragraphs.

First

Linking Words

of all,

thetime

Correct your spelling

the time

has changed now and the preferences of kids have

also

Linking Words

altered. In old times, young children use to play outdoors and it made them healthy and fit. Now, technology has engulfed everything, adolescents like to spend their leisure time watching movies, playing video games and surfing on social media.

Secondly

Linking Words

, competition and expectation of the parents

also

Linking Words

increased recently and it put a lot of pressure on them,

consequently

Linking Words

, they have limited time for outdoor sports.

For example

Linking Words

, in India children spend nearly 7 hours in schools, after that they have extra classes and tuitions and it automatically promotes the sedentary lifestyle. There lies a number of solutions to counter

this

Linking Words

problem. To embark on, parents should guide their off-springs to eat healthy food and fast-food must be avoided as much as possible. It will save them from harmful diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and anxiety.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Physical education period should be made obligatory in study institutions. It will endorse the healthy lifestyle and a bunch of money will get saved that

otherwise

Linking Words

would get invested in treating those diseases. To conclude, it is worthwhile to say that it is our duty to save our future generations. Parents should be made aware to bring a positive change in children lives and they can enjoy their life to the fullest.

Submitted by jas.villager on Mon Nov 09 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While some people are of the opinion that children should obey their parents and teachers, others believe that would be useful giving their freedom by not taking so much control which will allow them to learn in solving their life problems. In my point of view, I am more inclined to believe that children are still in the stage that need olders assistance and directions but too strict rules may have and adverse influence on the problem solving abilities to children. This essay will break down the differences between these two point of view.
6
band
some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that his money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
It is said that some believe the government should spend their money elsewhere rather than on the arts, because it is a waste of money. I strongly disagree with this opinion due to its financial benefits.
6.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Science has the potential to significantly enhance various aspects of human life, though it can also lead to considerable harm. I fully agree that the primary aim of scientific endeavors should be to improve our quality of life, particularly in areas such as healthcare, transportation, and communication. Conversely, we must refrain from using science to develop harmful technologies, such as new weapons.
7.5
band
The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One school of thought holds that companies should prioritize generating profits, and they are not required to have social duties. While I accept that perception is somewhat justified, I believe that there are other factors that companies need to contribute to their societies.
8
band
Write a letter to a friend. You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged. 1. Apologize for damaging the product 2. Explain what happened 3. Say how are you going to fix the issue
I hope you’re doing great. I’d like to thank you for borrowing me your camera and it did help me a lot during my trip to Japan. But I’ve got to tell you that I accidentally broke the lens. I feel terribly sorry for that and I hope you can forgive me.

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that his money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a friend. You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged. 1. Apologize for damaging the product 2. Explain what happened 3. Say how are you going to fix the issue