IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lawbreakers #prison #talents #work
When talents break the law, whether to send them to the prison or make them work remains a contention. In my opinion,
although
 imprisoning is beneficial to convicts and
society
, we should use their abilities in the workforce. On the one hand, prisons will help educate them and ensure the safety of
society
. Prisons help rehabilitate prisoners because the guards will teach them the standard of upright conduct and life skills. With
the
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knowledge, criminals will adapt more to
society
 when they are released. What is more, it is
also
 a deterrent for people who intend to commit a crime.
For example
, were there no imprisonment, some officials would have received bribes, threatening the economic safety of the
society
.
On the other hand
,
that
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criminals with talents enter the workforce will promote breakthroughs and curb the lawless
behavior
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behaviour
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.
For example
, a convict caught because of hacking into a police surveillance system must have expertise in internet security.
Therefore
, if the government arranges for him to study
this
 area, he will contribute to the research.
In addition
, he will get a job opportunity, and his action will be under supervision. With income and surveillance, it is more unlikely for him to commit a crime again. In my perspective, I support the idea that lawbreakers with skills should participate in the work. In
this
 way, their intellectual prowess will not be wasted. As for imprisonment, it can indeed give them lessons.
However
, jail terms may harden convicts against
society
as a result
 of the brutalizing treatment they receive.
Submitted by meleksima89 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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