IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is more important. Others say that spending time with friends and family is more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #friends
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 era, it is noticed that spending a balanced life is very difficult because people have their own priorities some people want to
career
Use synonyms
 development so they give more
time
Use synonyms
 to focus their professional growth and other want to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their family and friends and give them value over the work-life. I believe to manage the
time
Use synonyms
 is difficult but not impossible; people should have to give
time
Use synonyms
 to both essentials. On the one hand, usually, youngster gives more importance to their
career
Use synonyms
 growth over the family. Those people give more importance to their
career
Use synonyms
 development because they taste the struggle and hard
time
Use synonyms
 in terms of parents.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they prefer to spend
time
Use synonyms
 on their workplace for their luxury life.
For example
Linking Words
, those youngsters want to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 at their workplaces who want to have become rich and want to fulfil their dreams because they feel the pain of struggle.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people want to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their family and friend and make good memories. Nothing can replace d from family either it is work or sports.
For instance
Linking Words
, elderly people spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with old pictures and memories which they spent with their love ones. In my opinion, young people should have to give priority to their love ones over the work and make good memories for their old ages.
However
Linking Words
, give the
time
Use synonyms
 business and the job is
also
Linking Words
 important because it provides a better lifestyle. In conclusion, it is a long debate with no answer.
However
Linking Words
, a successful
career
Use synonyms
 and family both have their own values and both have their own significance. People should have managed their equally and dedicate to their work as well as their family.
Submitted by owais Mirza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: