An increasing number of people are choosing plastic surgery. Why do people choose to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Surgical ways of changing one’s appearance have become widespread in the modern world as there is an uprising number of individuals who want to have a better look.
While
such
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
surgery
helps to solve born imperfections, I do believe that
this
trend has a negative impact on society in the sense that some
people
abuse
plastic
surgery
and even might harm themselves.
To begin
with, the main reason for the growing popularity of
plastic
surgeries
is a desire to look prettier and be appreciated by others. These days, a significant group/percentage/proportion of
people
are convincing themselves that
surgery
is the only option to look like their idols or be good-looking
according to
social standards of beauty.
For example
, in South Korea, a huge number of youth are
going under
Verb problem
undergoing
show examples
plastic
surgeries
, namely an eyelid correction or rhinoplasty at an early age. They even work overtime to save enough money for
such
procedures just to look like their highly appreciated idols. Personally, I am of the opinion that the tendency of numerous beauty
surgeries
may be helpful with
correction
Correct article usage
the correction
show examples
of physiological issues,
however
, individuals mostly overuse
this
method and even face more health problems in the future. What I mean is that
plastic
surgery
does help
people
with born imperfections,
such
as a cleft lip or cleft palate, to improve their
appearances
Fix the agreement mistake
appearance
show examples
.
Nevertheless
,
people
are mostly abusing
plastic
surgeries
by doing liposuction, rhinoplasty or breast augmentation without even a consultation with their doctor.
As a result
, a plethora of stories about victims of
plastic
surgeries
can be observed in a newsfeed.
For instance
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
legendary singer and musician Michael Jackson was one of these victims when he
was suffering
Wrong verb form
suffered
show examples
from
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
consequences
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
multiple nose
surgeries
.
To conclude
, various
plastic
surgeries
are becoming in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher demand nowadays.
People
are likely to go under
such
operations to look and feel better in their appearances.
Such
changes may be the main reason for improving born imperfections,
nonetheless
, I may argue that today
people
mostly overuse these procedures, thereby facing severe health issues.
Submitted by Olena on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the topic adequately, presenting reasons why people choose plastic surgery and expressing a clear opinion. However, more focus on the positive or negative impact of plastic surgery could strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The overall structure is logical, with a clear introduction and relevant supporting points. However, the link between paragraphs and the conclusion could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aesthetic enhancement
  • body dysmorphia
  • reconstructive surgery
  • cosmetic procedure
  • societal beauty standards
  • self-perception
  • media influence
  • psychological impact
  • confidence boost
  • surgical intervention
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