The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Huge internet companies and organisations keep a lot of personal
information
. In my opinion, there are disadvantages more outweigh than advantages. I will give my perspective below.
To begin
with, many problems and accidents have occurred due to a lot of internet companies cannot use their customer's
information
well.
For example
, some people are caught by voice fishing and lost their money. According to a survey conducted by local newspaper names 'BULLET TIMES' in 2019, approximately 80% of respondents answered to 'Yes' for
this
question 'Did you get a phone call from voice fishing or like that?'
This
result meaning is an expose of personal
information
is a serious problem in society.
In addition
, people usually receive text messages from an unexpected number - sometimes from abroad - because their details delivered a lot of places where even criminals stay in another country.
Therefore
,
although
big tech companies try to keep their data in safety, they used to lose their data to others.
Hence
, lots of victims especially elder people lose their property because lost of their
information
.
On the other hand
, there are some advantages
also
. When companies are collecting one's history
such
as purchase, searching and watching. And
then
not only they can create big data for their business but
also
people can use better services that completely suitable for an individual. For these reasons, in my opinion, losing personal details is very serious.
Therefore
companies and organisations should make more safety systems to save their customer's data safety.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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