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The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organisations #outweigh
It is thought that personal details possessed by large internet companies and institutions have advantages for individuals. I disagree with
this
 statement and will give reasons below.
To begin
 with, personal
information
 could be used by companies to earn financial resources. These days, many people suffered from instant messages from strange senders or companies. These companies try to hook customers to buy or spend money if they click the link.
Moreover
, many telemarketing companies call all the time. They advertise their product even though they have never met which makes people upset. Occasionally, it leads to payments of the product which people does not need.
In addition
, some people use personal detail illegally. According to a recent article of newspaper, one worker from a large company sold the private contact numbers and addresses to other company to bring new customers,
then
 they get paid much money from the company. In the other article, the stranger makes a call to anyone from the illegal
information
,
then
 the offender lies to them to spend much money. Some burglars analyze personal
information
 to choose the target house, so it is much easier to succeed burgling. In conclusion, there are many occasions which are criminals who have used private detail.
Therefore
, the possession of private
information
 by large companies and organization is disadvantageous and they should collect as less as possible and keep it safe. The Government
also
 make a strong law to protect personal
information
.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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