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Writing Samples
Band 6

The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organisations #outweigh
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It is thought that personal details possessed by large internet companies and institutions have advantages for individuals. I disagree with
this
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 statement and will give reasons below.
To begin
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 with, personal
information
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 could be used by companies to earn financial resources. These days, many people suffered from instant messages from strange senders or companies. These companies try to hook customers to buy or spend money if they click the link.
Moreover
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, many telemarketing companies call all the time. They advertise their product even though they have never met which makes people upset. Occasionally, it leads to payments of the product which people does not need.
In addition
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, some people use personal detail illegally. According to a recent article of newspaper, one worker from a large company sold the private contact numbers and addresses to other company to bring new customers,
then
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 they get paid much money from the company. In the other article, the stranger makes a call to anyone from the illegal
information
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,
then
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 the offender lies to them to spend much money. Some burglars analyze personal
information
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 to choose the target house, so it is much easier to succeed burgling. In conclusion, there are many occasions which are criminals who have used private detail.
Therefore
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, the possession of private
information
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 by large companies and organization is disadvantageous and they should collect as less as possible and keep it safe. The Government
also
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 make a strong law to protect personal
information
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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