Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Almost every day of the week, you can read stories about encouraging children in the rivalry in newspapers. In fact,
this
Linking Words
issue has aroused much controversy among parents and people working in
e
Add an article
an
the
show examples
ducational environment. Some people reckon that
c
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ompetitive environment is lucrative to the pupils;
on the other hand
Linking Words
, others have debated the idea that
e
Add an article
the
an
show examples
ducational system should concentrate on collaboration.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is not an easy question to answer,
However
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
essay both controversial sides of
this
Linking Words
argument are going to be discussed. On the one hand, some people opine that children have to
brought
Change the form of the verb
bring
show examples
up in competitive surrounding due to the evidence that
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
the process of learning paramount skills. They are stimulated to work harder to acquire knowledge during school. In matter, competitiveness leads them
a
Add the particle
to
show examples
ttain a high level of achievement.
As a result
Linking Words
, their path work will be splendid.
For instance
Linking Words
, a child who has gained a vast majority academic achievements,
hence
Linking Words
, praised by teachers, and
also
Linking Words
will have a senesce of satisfaction,
also
Linking Words
have an opportunity to enrol in one of the best universities all around the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people believe, it is plain that pupils co-operate in different activities during their educational period, owing to the fact acquiring moral traits, like empathy and teamwork which leads learning from others, and
also
Linking Words
enhance previous knowledge or skills. Indeed, by taking a part in
teamworks
Correct your spelling
teamwork
team works
, everyone works together to achieve a specific goal, they would be able to learn from their peers,
consequently
Linking Words
, will be
u
Add an article
a
show examples
seful adult into society. According to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
recent research conducted by
U
Correct article usage
the
show examples
niversity of Tehran,
s
Add an article
a
the
show examples
tudent who study in a group, are more motivated,
in addition
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
they support each other which improve their social behaviour. In the final analysis, I personally go along with the idea that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
we have to make a healthy balance between competing and co-operating.
As a result
Linking Words
, people with beneficial skills would be contributed to the world.
Submitted by sinaheli3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
What to do next:
Look at other essays: