IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The world is heavily dependent on oil for energy. Do you think a future resource will take oil’s place? Why do you think this?

#world #oil #energy #future #resource #oil’s #place
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Most would agree that
oil
 will not remain the world’s principal
energy
 source indefinitely. With major breakthroughs in humanity’s ability to harvest power from the sun, I argue that solar power will one day become a cheaper and healthier alternative to petrol.
This
 will be shown viable by looking at the falling
price
 of solar
energy
 per watt against the
price
 of
oil
 and the tremendous improvements to solar technology that have been made over the past few years.
Firstly
, the amount of
energy
 produced by
oil
 is almost equal to that produced by solar wafers.
For example
, a recent study published in Scientific America magazine predicted that the rising
price
 of
oil
energy
 and the falling
price
 of solar
energy
 would meet in 2020. What
this
 means is that from 2020 onwards, it would be more economical for a person to fuel their car using solar
energy
 than it would
using
Change the verb form
use
be using
show examples
 petrol. As economic forces are so fundamental to the day-to-day choices of the masses, it is clear that solar
energy
 will take the place of
oil
 as humanity’s
next
 major
energy
 resource.
In addition
 to
this
, as solar technology develops it is becoming a much more refined
energy
 producer.
For instance
, traditional solar panels were large, square boards that had to be facing the sun directly to harvest
energy
. Today, solar collectors come in all shapes and can be contoured to fit a range of product designs, from the rounded exterior of a car to the back of an iPhone. Usage trends
such
 as these are yet another reason why solar
energy
 is fit to take over
oil
 as the world’s top
energy
 source. After looking at both its increasingly competitive
price
 and versatility, it is clear that solar power will come to fulfil humanity’s
energy
 needs in place of
oil
. For the sake of the world’s wellbeing, I hope
this
 transfer happens soon.
Submitted by vani.birlangi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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