Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists. Do you agree or disagree? Support with reasons and examples from your own experience.

#people #entertainers #scientists #support

In the modern world, some people think artists

such

as singers and comedian are more important than compared to researchers. I partly agree with the above statement as I believe both the parties

are equally need

Change the verb form

are equally needed

show examples

in our lives and throughout

this

essay, I will explain it in detail. On the one hand,performers have a huge impact on our day-to-day lives because they help humans to

realx

Correct your spelling

relax

their mind. To explain more, listening to one of your favourite songs or watching a comedy show after a hectic day at work can reduce the stress level of

Add an article

the

show examples

uman body.

For instance

, A study done

Verify preposition usage

show examples

London University found out that, people can decrease their stress level by 75% by just watch one of their favourite TV

programes

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

Moreover

entertaitment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

can bring people together.

As a result

, it helps to create a strong family bonding.

Hence

, singers and comedians are major ways to

obatin

Correct your spelling

obtain

a peaceful mind and reduce the stress level of

Add an article

the

show examples

uman body.

On the other hand

scienctists

Correct your spelling

scientists

are necessary because they help

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society to prevent

from

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

deadly diseases. To live a long happy life you need to be stress-free as well as stay away from different illness.

Furthermore

, technologists are helping humans to improve their lifestyle by introducing latest technology

such

as laptops and mobile phones with new features.

For example

, due to the invention of Google maps

Add a comma

show examples

it is easy to find

Change the article

show examples

adress

Correct your spelling

dress

within few seconds.

Also

, researchers are trying their best to find a cure for COVID-19.

Thus

, it is certain that

scienctist

Correct your spelling

scientist

scientists

palys

Correct your spelling

plays

a vital role and they are essential as well. To sum up, even though, entertainers are important in our lives to get relax during our busy schedule, researchers

also

equally essential as they help us to improve our lifestyle and live longer.

Submitted by shalithfdo on Mon Nov 16 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists. Do you agree or disagree? Support with reasons and examples from your own experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Detailed reporting of crime has bad effects. Consequently, such details should not be reported in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

n many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.