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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that education success mostly depends on teachers. Others, however, say that it depends more on the attitude of students and their willingness to study. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is an undeniable fact that teachers have an immense impact on the minds of children.
Therefore
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, few believe that the academic growth of a tutee is the effectiveness of a tutor's hard work,
while
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 others argue that it is dependent on a child's behaviour and perspective towards schooling. I shall delve into both sides and provide a subtle point of view. To start with, young minds are like clay and need an artist to mould them into beautiful artefacts.
For instance
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, if an instructor has incredible indoctrination
skills
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skills,
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then
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 infants can grasp knowledge easily and can have a deep understanding of the subject.
Furthermore
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, most of the time pupils spend in schools
so
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, so
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,
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apply
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 it is the major responsibility of a mentor to provide good education
as well as
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 teach morals.
Moreover
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, a generous master will try to focus on
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the weakness
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weakness
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weaknesses
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 and upskill the strengths of his mentees.
On the contrary
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, some advisors who have poor teaching methodology affect juveniles so deeply that they lose interest in those subjects for the
lifetime
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rest of their lives
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.
Thus
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, the significance of
standard
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a standard
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 teacher is crystal clear.
However
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, the perception of the receiver is equally crucial to call pedagogy a triumph. In some cases, it does not matter how effectively a topic is taught when the toddler does not pay attention to it.
For example
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, in a class, if there are 40 students, a handful of kids will be standing
in
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at
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 the top
tanker
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of tanker
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 list
while
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 others will be scoring less. Even though the same lecturer has educated all of them, there will be a diverse graph seen on how each learner perceives it. There are some attentive and aware scholars who conceal the indigent capabilities of a tutor by self-study without any supervision.
To sum up
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, good tutors and
students
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students'
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 active participation
,
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apply
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 both have
the
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an
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 imperative role
to
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in
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get
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achieving
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 success in education. Yet, I opine that virtuous teaching plays a vital role in scholastic victory for a student.

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task achievement
Make your introduction clearer by stating both views distinctly before giving your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas, which will make your writing smoother.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to support your points in each paragraph.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument well, showing your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of creative metaphors, like comparing young minds to clay, adds depth to your writing.
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