IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many jobs used to be done at home by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.

A decade ago,
people
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
preferred to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
 at home by
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
 and they
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoided
show examples
 using
science
Replace the word
scientific
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 inventions.
Whereas
Linking Words
, in the present era,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 love to
use
Use synonyms
 machines for their daily routine
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. It has lots of advantages
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 we cannot neglect the downsides of
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of technologies. On the one hand, there are a plethora of advantages of using machines
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can save a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 and perform better than humans.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 washing clothes manually
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
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 too much
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 water and detergent.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 a washing machine
for
Change preposition
to
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 wash
bucket
Correct article usage
a bucket
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 of clothes at one
time
Use synonyms
 and save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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water and detergent
also
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kitchen
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
 like
blender
Fix the agreement mistake
blenders
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, microwaves and
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 for cooking food and
preserved
Wrong verb form
preserving
show examples
 it for a long
time
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using technologies which can affect our health and fitness. In
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
doing
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 their
homes
Check wording
household
show examples
 chores manually
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
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 healthy and fit because their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 always busy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
ration
Use the right word
ratio
show examples
 of diseases at that
time
Use synonyms
 very less as compared to the modern era.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
love
Wrong verb form
loved
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 to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 manually and they
promote
Wrong verb form
promoted
show examples
 that culture to their next generation.
For instance
Linking Words
, a few years
ago
Punctuation problem
ago,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraged
show examples
 their children to do
work
Use synonyms
 manually and
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 them a reward to
motivating
Wrong verb form
motivate
show examples
 them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
doing works
Wrong verb form
do work
show examples
 physically.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the
use
Use synonyms
 of machines for daily routine
work
Use synonyms
 is good in terms of saving and utilities.
However
Linking Words
, it can be harmful to humans in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
terms
Fix the agreement mistake
term
show examples
 and
people
Use synonyms
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their health gradually if they
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not do any kind of physical activity.

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structure
Plan what you will say. Use one main idea for each paragraph. A clear plan helps the reader
language
Use simple words. Check grammar. For example say 'by hand' not 'by hands', 'people' not 'individual love'
conclusion
In the end, give a clear view. Say what you think and why.
content
The essay shows an effort to talk about both sides.
structure
There is an intro, body and a last part.
example
It gives small examples like washing machine and fridge.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • manual labor
  • hazardous jobs
  • initial investment
  • production costs
  • job displacement
  • skills gap
  • technical skills
  • reliance
  • vulnerabilities
  • breakdowns
  • cyber attacks
  • craftsmanship
  • artisanal skills
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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