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Band 6

children benefit more from playing outdoors with other children than playing computer games on their own

#children #benefit #computer #games
In recent years, video games have become more popular among all age groups the participation of children in outdoor activities has always been a concern.From my perspective,
although
 playing computer games might help youngsters to develop some skills, it would be much more beneficial for them to play outside.
To begin
 with, there is no doubt that video games can facilitate the upbringing of children. Computer games will require children to concentrate for a long time and use problem-solving skills to complete a mission.
This
 may improve the intelligence quotient of youngsters and teach them how to focus on one task for hours to the end, which can be valuable
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
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 when they start working.
For instance
, a recent survey found that 65% of children playing board games are often more independent and intelligent compared to their counterparts who are not involved in these games.
However
, I believe that the aforementioned advantages pale in comparison to the huge upside that could be gained from children playing outside.
First
, outdoor activities play a fundamental role in the proper physical and mental development of children. It demands a significant degree of training, which will help to burn excessive calories and reduce the risk of obesity.
In addition
, taking part in outdoor activities will widen their social circle and learn various interpersonal skills
such
 as teamwork, negotiation and effective communication. It can be seen that these practical benefits while playing outside could not be achieved with video games. In conclusion, while there are some potential benefits of playing computer games, I believe that children should engage in outdoor activities to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their comprehensive development.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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