IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that success in sport is mainly depends on physical abilities while others think that there other important factors. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #success #sport #abilities #factors
Some people believe that being
one
 of the best athletes is the most related to body activity factor while others believe that still exist numerous factors to be successful in
s
Add an article
the
show examples
port.
First
 of all,if someone is sporty gifted,
this
 provides an opportunity for him/her to be at the top of the list among lots of workout
proffessionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 but not adequate.
For instance
,
one
 of my friends who had wide shoulders and six-packs has not been training himself for approximately 6 months and now he is over-weight and should start them from the beginning.
Therefore
, being physically talented is not all things.
Second
 of all, we should consider the other significant elements, like effort, healthy, hormones etc.As more explain, level of Thyroid hormone is
one
 of the most critical issues in being fat or thin or having a healthy or unhealthy lifestyle.Another substantial factor is someone's skeleton or level of Calcium in his/her body.If someone does not have enough Calcium or strong bones, he/she likely confront serious bone injuries during workout.
Thus
, check up our important body elements before starting to exercise has
r
Add an article
a
show examples
emarkable impact on touching our purpose which is mentioned. In my opinion,we have lots of options on our path to achieve success in diversity
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 fields that we should carry on most of them to eventually face with our aim
that is
 being
one
 of the
toppest
Change the word
most top
show examples
 athletes.Not only being talented in exercise but
also
 do
e
Add an article
the
show examples
ffort,have an expert coach and rhythm of inhaling and exhaling are important.
Submitted by mayafadaei94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: