IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some believe that advances in technology are increasing the gap between rich and poor while others think the opposite is hapenning. Dicuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #advances #technology #gap #dicuss
Nowadays, many believe that technological advancement interconnects the world. Inequality among the upper class and lower class is declining. I opine that the development
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
divides society and discriminates between wealthy and impoverished individuals.
This
 essay will highlight both statements before concluding.
First
, many discoveries in information technology enable wealthier persons to assist financial victims. A tragedy grabs the attention of people when posted on social media. It results in cooperation and aid for the poor, within a community or outside the nation.
For example
, watching a video on Facebook, a textile businessman in my area gave a ten lac cheque to a widow. She had a chance to get the funds with the social platform. It proves that the technological revolution brings inadequate closure to the rich. Modern technology upsurge farmer revenues and socializes them with the well-off members of society. The technological revolution enables wealthy students to use advanced devices for their studies. Needy students cannot afford
such
 devices- even they don’t have access to the internet.
As a result
 of inequality, one part of society flourishes, while others might undermine. Developing counties (Africa and other Asian countries) lack technological advancement.
As a result
, Economic inequality may rise—a lack of digital marketing results in bankruptcy. To conclude, I argue that technology divides people worldwide—still many benefits, which we cannot deny.
Submitted by saeedullah1814 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: