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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their houses rather than buy their housees. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
ving
Correct your spelling
Having
 a home is essential for everyone, because it gives a sense of security, belonging, and
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
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. Nowadays, residents in some countries prefer to
rent
Use synonyms
 accommodation rather than get on the property ladder.
This
Linking Words
 trend has both benefits and drawbacks, and
this
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 essay will examine both sides in detail.
Body paragraph 1
One of the principal advantages of renting an apartment is that it serves as a practical stepping stone to cohabitation for young couples.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the price of buying property has skyrocketed, so young people cannot afford to put down a deposit or take out a mortgage. Renting is more flexible and allows them to live in the city centre or within walking distance without a huge financial burden. Another benefit is the absence of problems regarding maintenance costs, as these are usually covered by the landlord.
For
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this
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 reason, renting can suit people whose work or study may take them to a new place. Young people have more freedom to travel or work abroad without being tied down to one location.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, renting is not without its drawbacks.
This
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 type of accommodation can lead to stress
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of a sense of belonging and security.
In contrast
Linking Words
, owning a property provides a higher level of comfort and stability.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, paying
rent
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 does not help a person own a home in the end, meaning tenants do not build equity or long-term financial security. Another significant disadvantage is the lack of control; a tenant may need to move if the owner wants the home back or decides to raise the
rent
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.
Additionally
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, individuals who have pets might face problems when searching for accommodation. Landlords often refuse to
rent
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 to tenants with pets or charge exorbitant pet deposits.
For example
Linking Words
, a family with a large dog might have to compromise on location or pay a premium just to keep their pet, showing how landlord rules can make renting harder.
Conclusion
In conclusion, renting has a number of pros and cons, and the choice ultimately depends on an individual's lifestyle and financial situation.

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task response
You answer both parts well. Keep the same clear plan: explain why renting is good, then explain why it can be hard.
task response
Your ideas are clear and well explained. To make them even stronger, add one short real-life example for the good side too, such as a young worker who can move cities for a new job.
task response
The example about a family with a dog is useful and links well to your point about landlord rules. Make sure each example is short, so it does not take too much space from the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, good points, bad points, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words work well, such as “Moreover”, “Nevertheless”, “Furthermore”, and “For example”. Try not to use too many in one paragraph; sometimes a simple link like “Also” or “As a result” is enough.
coherence and cohesion
The first body paragraph has several ideas. You could make the link between them clearer: low house prices are not the reason for renting; high house prices are. Then move from cost to freedom to move in a smooth order.
task response
You give several strong reasons for renting, including lower first cost, fewer repair costs, and the freedom to move for work or study.
task response
You also cover key problems of renting: less safety, no long-term gain from payments, less control over the home, and problems for people with pets.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a clear main focus, and the conclusion gives a fair final view.
coherence and cohesion
The use of a specific dog-owning family makes the final point clear and easy to understand.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rent a home
  • buy a house
  • housing cost
  • move easily
  • save money
  • low income
  • middle income
  • repair work
  • the owner
  • monthly rent
  • build wealth
  • long-term plan
  • rent goes up
  • feel stable
  • have less control
  • make changes
  • live near family
  • new job
  • surprise costs
  • a sense of home
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