We have witnessed that Parents spending ample of money on their children's parties .Some believe thatIt is waste of money and this trend is getting worse. What do you think about this? Do parents have any solution to this issue ?

#parents #money #children #parties #believe #thatit #waste #trend

It is irrefutable that spending a lot of expense on

parties

is an increasing

trend

in today's era .it is observed that affluent elite society disburse a large aggregate of cash on their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

parties

. A segment of society believes that the use of

This

expenditure is unwanted and

this

following

trend

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

unfruitful.I believe that there are numerous factors responsible for

this

trend

measures

Capitalize word

Measures

show examples

can be taken to Club

this

problem fruitfully which I would like to delve

Change preposition

into in

show examples

upcoming paragraphs

To begin

, there are various causes witnessed which affect

this

trend

.the first and the prominent Cause is that teenagers are emulated by their peers for organising an extravagant party.which affects the pocket of the family with moderate earners

Correct your spelling

For

for instance

a child with

middle-class

Correct article usage

a middle-class

show examples

backgrounds

Fix the agreement mistake

background

show examples

studying in an organisation with

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

elite, turns out to be influenced by their lavish lifestyle, which will lead to copying their way of living and the way they hang out .

In addition

, sportspeople and celebrities utilise ample

Change preposition

apply

show examples

money

on celebrating their occasions which

also

leads to detrimental effects on the environment

such

as a huge sound system will create noise pollution and maximum use of plastic

will occur

Verb problem

show examples

which is non-biodegradable

further

it will

also

harm nature.

hence

, spending a lot of

money

on organising

such

events is wastage of

money

However

, there are several ways to tackle

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these problems effectively.

firstly

, parents should have control

Change preposition

over

show examples

their all springs they should teach them their moral values and except wasting they should

where

Correct your spelling

wear

show examples

them to contribute

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. To exemplify,

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

in Arab states delete their

hard on

Correct your spelling

hard-earned

show examples

money

for helping

Change preposition

to help

show examples

impoverished organisations.

Furthermore

, ancestors can motivate children that

such

parties

can

also

harm the environment , parents can teach a good lesson to

There

Correct your spelling

Their

show examples

children's

Unnecessary verb

children

show examples

that these Kind of

parties

also

leads

Correct subject-verb agreement

lead

show examples

to wastage of food. There are numerous

variety

Fix the agreement mistake

varieties

show examples

of food

Correct pronoun usage

that is

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

never eaten by all the guests In conclusion,

nevertheless

,certain differences do exist in thinking of parents as far as their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

are concerned but

due to

these detrimental effects . I firmly believe that spending a large amount of

money

is completely unfruitful

Submitted by naresh on Thu Nov 19 2020

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coherence cohesion

The essay is not logically structured and lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are not effectively supported.

task achievement

The response does not fully address the task. The essay lacks clear and comprehensive ideas and relevant specific examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

357 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Budgeting
Overspending
Consumerism
Extravagant
Materialism
Valuable memories
Peer pressure
Financial responsibility
Wealth disparities
Inclusive
Ecological consequences
Sustainable practices
Setting a fixed budget
Meaningful activities
Foster creativity

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We have witnessed that Parents spending ample of money on their children's parties .Some believe thatIt is waste of money and this trend is getting worse. What do you think about this? Do parents have any solution to this issue ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more people use private motorbikes or cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing, or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?