We have witnessed that Parents spending ample of money on their children's parties .Some believe thatIt is waste of money and this trend is getting worse. What do you think about this? Do parents have any solution to this issue ?

It is irrefutable that spending a lot of expense on
parties
is an increasing
trend
in today's era .it is observed that affluent elite society disburse a large aggregate of cash on their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
parties
. A segment of society believes that the use of
This
expenditure is unwanted and
this
following
trend
is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
unfruitful.I believe that there are numerous factors responsible for
this
trend
.
measures
Capitalize word
Measures
show examples
can be taken to Club
this
problem fruitfully which I would like to delve
in
Change preposition
into in
show examples
upcoming paragraphs
To begin
, there are various causes witnessed which affect
this
trend
.the first and the prominent Cause is that teenagers are emulated by their peers for organising an extravagant party.which affects the pocket of the family with moderate earners
.
Correct your spelling
For
for instance
a child with
middle-class
Correct article usage
a middle-class
show examples
backgrounds
Fix the agreement mistake
background
show examples
studying in an organisation with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
elite, turns out to be influenced by their lavish lifestyle, which will lead to copying their way of living and the way they hang out .
In addition
, sportspeople and celebrities utilise ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
on celebrating their occasions which
also
leads to detrimental effects on the environment
such
as a huge sound system will create noise pollution and maximum use of plastic
will occur
Verb problem
,
show examples
which is non-biodegradable
further
it will
also
harm nature.
hence
, spending a lot of
money
on organising
such
events is wastage of
money
However
, there are several ways to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these problems effectively.
firstly
, parents should have control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
their all springs they should teach them their moral values and except wasting they should
where
Correct your spelling
wear
show examples
them to contribute
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To exemplify,
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
in Arab states delete their
hard on
Correct your spelling
hard-earned
show examples
money
for helping
Change preposition
to help
show examples
impoverished organisations.
Furthermore
, ancestors can motivate children that
such
parties
can
also
harm the environment , parents can teach a good lesson to
There
Correct your spelling
Their
show examples
children's
Unnecessary verb
children
show examples
that these Kind of
parties
also
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
to wastage of food. There are numerous
variety
Fix the agreement mistake
varieties
show examples
of food
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
never eaten by all the guests In conclusion,
nevertheless
,certain differences do exist in thinking of parents as far as their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
are concerned but
due to
these detrimental effects . I firmly believe that spending a large amount of
money
is completely unfruitful
Submitted by naresh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay is not logically structured and lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are not effectively supported.
task achievement
The response does not fully address the task. The essay lacks clear and comprehensive ideas and relevant specific examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Budgeting
  • Overspending
  • Consumerism
  • Extravagant
  • Materialism
  • Valuable memories
  • Peer pressure
  • Financial responsibility
  • Wealth disparities
  • Inclusive
  • Ecological consequences
  • Sustainable practices
  • Setting a fixed budget
  • Meaningful activities
  • Foster creativity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: