IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Machines are becoming very sophisticated. Workers are benefiting from that. Discuss to what extent good points overweight bad points

#machines #workers #points
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern world
Add a comma
,
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the technology is progressing very fast and modification of old machines are going on. The companies are producing new machines which can take out production very fast and safety feature are
also
Linking Words
 taken
in
Verify preposition usage
into
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 consideration.
This
Linking Words
machines
Change the determiner
machine
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 is helpful to workers and they get more
time
Use synonyms
 to rest. In olden times when most of the
work
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 done through hands many projects takes
y
Add an article
a
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ear to complete and there were chances that workers hurt themselves and they use to
work
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 for long hours. These new machines have many good points but
it
Change the pronoun
they
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share
Change the verb form
shares
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 some bad effects like people are losing
Use synonyms
j
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a
the
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ob and unemployment is increasing. These new machines are helpful in producing goods very fast and safely that saves
time
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 and the workers are
also
Linking Words
 safe ,take
for instance
Linking Words
 the example of coal mines
where in
Correct your spelling
wherein
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old en
Correct your spelling
olden
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 times all extraction of coal were done through hands and there were many chances of workers being badly hurt that they had to be hospitalised but as per new machines the extraction is done through them and workers are
also
Linking Words
 safe. These new machines help in worker to
work
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 for less
time
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 and spend more
time
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 with their family. In past
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,
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they usually
work
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 for 12 to fifteen hours but now they
work
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 for 8 to 10 hours. These new machines help to complete projects which were impossible in past and if possible it
take
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takes
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 years to complete,
for example
Linking Words
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,
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bridges, dams, in past it
take
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takes
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 5 years to complete
b
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the
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ridge and more labour
labour
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apply
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was required and increase the cost while today they are completed within
y
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a
the
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ear and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 workers are required.
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
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 new machines have many good points for workers but it has some bad points
also
Linking Words
.The worker who
don't
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doesn't
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 know how to operate these machines
loose
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lose
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 the
job
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 ,as
this
Linking Words
 machines do
work
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of ten
Correct your spelling
often
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 labours so
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 workers were needed and
thus
Linking Words
 leads to
unemploymency
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 and workers had to divert their field to find
n
Add an article
a
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ew
job
Use synonyms
. To conclude, these new machines help workers to spend more
time
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 with their children and they are
also
Linking Words
 safe but now less labour is required so they
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to diversify to
n
Add an article
a
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ew field to find
Use synonyms
j
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ob
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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