IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, people can easily find and share information online. What problems can this cause and what are solutions ?

#people #information
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In today's world, people can exchange
data
Use synonyms
 through the
internet
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the cause problem and provide some possible solutions to
this
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 issue. In the wake of advancing technology, people have to
become
Verb problem
apply
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rely on the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
For example
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, there are many
make
Verb problem
apply
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friends'
Fix the agreement mistake
friend'
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platforms
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, like Facebook or
apps
Correct word choice
other apps
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. These kinds of
platforms
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also
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 expose many
their
Change preposition
of their
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 personal
information
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 would cause
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
lost
Change the verb form
to lose
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 their
private
Replace the word
privacy
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.
This
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 is because almost everyone can read or watch your profile and some of them might disturb you.
Moreover
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, these kinds of
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
also
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 research your
information
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,
such
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 as what you
Add a missing verb
are interest
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interest
Replace the word
interested
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,
Change preposition
in, what
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what
Correct word choice
and what
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 type of
data
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 you have searched.
This
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also
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 makes you
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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 your
private
Replace the word
privacy
show examples
.
As a result
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, you might see many
promote
Replace the word
promotions
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 or advertisements when you use the
internet
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.
However
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, there are some solutions to fix
this
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 problem, like you can adjust the
information
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 and set up the private and the safety.
For instance
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, before you upload some picture or
information
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 to the network, you can filter some of the highest personal
data
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 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not put them on the
internet
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.
Consequently
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, you can protect your
information
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 by yourself.
In addition
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, you
also
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 can set up
the
Correct article usage
apply
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private and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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safety
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your home page of the apps or other
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
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.
This
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 can help you to avoid some of the
data
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 will be pick up by those
platforms
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.
Consequently
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, the annoying advertisement will not interrupt you and
also
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 can protect
the
Change the word
your
show examples
 privacy
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
yours
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In conclusion,
although
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 people use the
internet
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 to share their
information
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 can cause
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
lose
Fix the infinitive
to lose
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 their privacy.
However
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, there are some solutions to reduce
this
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 problem by themselves to filter their personal
information
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 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not
upload
Wrong verb form
uploading
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them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 to the
internet
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second solution is
set
Fix the infinitive
to set
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 up the highest level of safety on their own platform's home page to reduce
their
Change the word
the
show examples
information
Use synonyms
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
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 be picked up by those
platforms
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yeahkubi on

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Use specific examples where possible to clarify points.
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