Many societies has its homeless people some people think that the best way to help them is give them money. To what extent do you agree?

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In
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

present era, streets became home for many people and, the others believe that they can help homeless people by giving them money. I have a vehement view that it is having detrimental effects on the homeless.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has to provide a place to
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation

The word accomodation is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

for all citizens, especially, who are not able to care
of
Verify preposition usage
about

It appears that the preposition of may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves

The word theirselves is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

. If the society helps them
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, the authority will be
l
Add an article
a

It appears that an article is missing before the word lack. Consider adding the article.

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ack of control of the social and economical balance.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in a
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood

The spelling of neighborhood is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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, whether all needs can be handled without any help of the authority like the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or
muncipality
Correct your spelling
municipality

The word muncipality is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, it makes the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

less powerful and useless. It is
obivious
Correct your spelling
obvious

The word obivious is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

that in a territory where is administered
unsuccesfully
Correct your spelling
unsuccessfully

The word unsuccesfully is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, social conflicts will
increased
Change the verb form
increase
be increased

The verb increased after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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, law and other regulations will not be respected so, it causes chaos.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if the society helps homeless people economically on daily basis,
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of giving them
j
Add an article
a
the

The noun phrase job seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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ob, home and education opportunity, the other part of the society will be threatened by security flaw which brings increasing crime rate along. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Because. Consider removing the comma.

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homeless people never have enough opportunity to live. They always will be in a search to be equal
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as other people.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, robbery, shoplifting and other economical crimes go up and, homeless people believe that the determination of
identify
Replace the word
identity

The word identify doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is nearly impossible and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word huge.

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huge advantage for them. To conclude,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

homeless people do not need cash for their daily needs, the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should provide them
Verify preposition usage
with

It appears that there is a missing preposition after the word them. Consider adding the preposition.

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equal opportunity to live.
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

why I do not agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

idea.
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