The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?

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Government spending and individuals
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject individuals. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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often the
center
Change the spelling
centre

The spelling of center is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of criticism
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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all over the world. Some
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

believe spending on
celebrations
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is too much money. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

vision. Despite the huge amount of investment to make it happen, these events contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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economical
Replace the word
economic

The word economical doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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growth
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and enforce
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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sense of
community
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.
Celebrations
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fuels
Change the verb form
fuel

The singular verb fuels does not appear to agree with the plural subject Celebrations. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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economic
growth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. These events usually are created for thousands and even millions of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in order to they can attend and spend money. These
conmemorations
Correct your spelling
commemorations

If you don’t want conmemorations to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

involve
to provide
Change the verb form
providing

The verb provide is usually in the gerund form when following the word involve. Consider replacing it with the -ing form.

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many services
aroud
Correct your spelling
around

If you don’t want aroud to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the event by employing
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and contributing to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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economic
growth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Sydney
new year
Correct your spelling
New Year

The word new year doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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celebration
atracts
Correct your spelling
attracts

If you don’t want atracts to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

millions of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from several countries.
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

This
Change the determiner
These

It appears that the singular demonstrative This is modifying the plural noun visitors. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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visitors pay for
fly
Replace the word
flight

The word fly doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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tickets, restaurants, hotels and many other services during their attendance.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Australian
Add an article
the Australian

The noun phrase Australian economy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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economy is able to take the profit from that particular celebration regardless
how
Change preposition
of how

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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much money they invested. On the other side,
celebrations
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

help to enforce
sense
Add an article
a sense
the sense

The noun phrase sense seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
community
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, humans are social animals,
the
Correct word choice
and the

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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government
Change noun form
government's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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efforts to
conmemorate
Correct your spelling
commemorate

If you don’t want conmemorate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

community
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

events
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help

It seems that the verb helps does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to increase the sense of
to be
Change the verb form
being

To be doesn’t seem to work here.

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part of a
community
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are more engaged with the shared values of a particular group of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, every year, Brazil invest millions of dollars to make an event to recall their ancient traditions. They dance and sign for an entire day. By doing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

feel happier and
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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government spending
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes

The plural verb contribute does not appear to agree with the singular subject the government spending. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to the meaning of life for many citizens. In conclusion, I disagree with the view
of
Change preposition
that

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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spending on
celebrations
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is too much. From my point of view,
conmemorations
Correct your spelling
commemorations
commemoration

If you don’t want conmemorations to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

fuel the economic
growth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of a particular
community
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

help to promote the shared values of a
community
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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language
Ensure consistency in tense and grammar throughout your essay to improve clarity and readability.
content
Provide more specific examples to strengthen and support your arguments.
structure
Improve sentence structure for better flow and cohesion in your paragraphs.
structure
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
Your essay clearly disagrees with the statement and successfully supports this viewpoint.
content
You effectively highlight the link between celebrations and economic growth, as well as community building.
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