IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Universities should accept equal numbers of males and female student in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #males #student
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Gender
Use synonyms
 equality is a fundamental problem, dimming people's prospects for building a sustainable future.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some people opine that educational organizations should
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 the same
number
Use synonyms
 of both genders.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and will provide in
this
Linking Words
 essay reasons to support my viewpoint.
Firstly
Linking Words
, accepting representatives from certain
gender
Use synonyms
 may lead to loose of real talents
that is
Linking Words
 why universities should accept students on a competition base.
For instance
Linking Words
, it would be unfair to reject
m
Add an article
a
show examples
ale applicant with higher grades and
b
Add an article
a
show examples
etter GPA in favour of female with lower academical performance due to
gender
Use synonyms
 quota.
As a result
Linking Words
, students with abilities to study hard and contribute in the future to the development of society may remain uneducated.
This
Linking Words
 is why it can be argued that admission
comission
Correct your spelling
commission
 should choose students based on their educational results.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is irrefutable that
e
Add an article
an
show examples
qual
number
Use synonyms
 of women and men in subject groups is unreal due to
p
Add an article
the
show examples
opularity of some professions among women or men. And if there are only
f
Change the article
a
show examples
ew applications from females and dozens of males to create a group would be impossible. A case in point would be engineering, where the
number
Use synonyms
 of male students often dominate the
number
Use synonyms
 of female students.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 makes it clear that the
number
Use synonyms
 of one
gender
Use synonyms
 should not be on par with another
gender
Use synonyms
. To
summ
Correct your spelling
sum
 up, universities should not implement
s
Add an article
the
show examples
ex balance policy as
this
Linking Words
 measure can create more problems.
Likewise
Linking Words
, I disagree with the equal numbers of males and females in every subject.
Submitted by aidatuarshina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: