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Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people today are becoming overly dependent on the internet and phones. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #phones #development
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It
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 so common to see
people
Use synonyms
 looking at their mobile phones in the street,
in
Change preposition
on
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 public transportation or anywhere else.
People
Use synonyms
 rely more and more on the web to play or to work, which is a
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 progression.
Internet
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 is the
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
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 and the path to the future.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
internet
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 usage is more
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
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 than the conventional ways. For example, banks nowadays introduce daily new online services to their clients through their websites and mobile applications. These services vary from opening an account to making a transfer or signing
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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legal documents.
As a result
Linking Words
, many clients
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 the transition to the online sphere over the
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
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 procedures,
because
Add the preposition
because of
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 the amount of time and effort they save.
Consequently
Linking Words
, electronic services are quicker and easier than their
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
 older version.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the use of
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 products is helping
people
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 to do
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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business without being physically together. To illustrate, many companies now are recruiting talented employees from all over the world, and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
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 a business model where everyone can do his part of the job in the comfort of his house.
This
Linking Words
 is possible because of the massive number of new
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 that imitate the work environment,
such
Linking Words
 as video meetings software or live reporting applications.
Hence
Linking Words
, the end result of
this
Linking Words
 transformation is an efficient
work flow
Correct your spelling
workflow
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 and happy employees.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the
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internet
Use synonyms
 gives everyone the
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
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 to seek all possible opportunities remotely regardless of
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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location. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 use their mobile phones and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 now more than ever before.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that development
require
Change the verb form
requires
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 new tools, and the
internet
Use synonyms
 is one of these tools, holding on to it is a positive progression.
Submitted by webunicorn on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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