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Band 4

More and more people today are becoming overly dependent on the internet and phones. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #phones #development
It
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 so common to see
people
 looking at their mobile phones in the street,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 public transportation or anywhere else.
People
 rely more and more on the web to play or to work, which is a
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 progression.
Internet
 is the
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 and the path to the future.
Firstly
,
internet
 usage is more
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
 than the conventional ways. For example, banks nowadays introduce daily new online services to their clients through their websites and mobile applications. These services vary from opening an account to making a transfer or signing
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
legal documents.
As a result
, many clients
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 the transition to the online sphere over the
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
 procedures,
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the amount of time and effort they save.
Consequently
, electronic services are quicker and easier than their
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
show examples
 older version.
Secondly
, the use of
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 products is helping
people
 to do
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
business without being physically together. To illustrate, many companies now are recruiting talented employees from all over the world, and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 a business model where everyone can do his part of the job in the comfort of his house.
This
 is possible because of the massive number of new
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 that imitate the work environment,
such
 as video meetings software or live reporting applications.
Hence
, the end result of
this
 transformation is an efficient
work flow
Correct your spelling
workflow
show examples
 and happy employees.
Therefore
,
Add an article
the
show examples
internet
 gives everyone the
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 to seek all possible opportunities remotely regardless of
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
location. In conclusion,
people
 use their mobile phones and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 now more than ever before.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that development
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 new tools, and the
internet
 is one of these tools, holding on to it is a positive progression.
Submitted by webunicorn on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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