IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people focus on news in their country, while others think it is more important to be aware of international news. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #focus #news #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that viewing national or international news is a controversial topic in many countries. While it can be argued that gaining regional information brings considerable benefits, I believe that enlarging foreign knowledge is more likely to have significant impacts. There are several reasons why domestic reports should be received high
attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
show examples
.
Firstly
, raising the awareness of individuals about social issues could hinder them from exposing detrimental situations, which might pose a serious threat to their life.
For example
, when citizens are announced about terrorism or disasters through regional mainstream media, they are willing to stay home
instead
 of travel to other places,
thus
 maintain the safety of residents.
Secondly
, local news provides people
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
essential information that can be used in several areas than the other type. To be more specific, presented details
such
 as the economy or data about prices of houses are reported regularly, which may be beneficial to several individuals as they are able to utilize these statistics effectively. Despite the above argument, I believe that foreign reports have superior and long-term advantages.
To begin
 with, when people aware of international news, they tend to accustom to cultures from different backgrounds easily. As a consequence, these people are expected to adapt challenging situations and avoid culture shock when
travel
Change the verb form
traveling
show examples
 to another country.
Furthermore
, focusing on external details can offer residents the ability to improve themselves and compete globally. More specifically, reading or spectating news from other nations could extend knowledge adequately and integrate it into
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
future development.
For instance
, businesses or local companies may utilize shared technical information from overseas in developing their products to yield foreign customers or investors, results in the excessive increase
of
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 profit.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: