IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons discuss advantages and disadvantage

#computers #part #school #lessons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today it is a time of modern technology, respectively every people have
s
Add an article
a
show examples
martphone,
computer
Use synonyms
 or laptop and so on. In nowadays children learn how to use computers in the school. In
this
Linking Words
essat
Correct your spelling
essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
I'm going to write about
advatages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 and disadvantages.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
Linking Words
f
Change the article
the
show examples
irst
computer
Use synonyms
 was created by Charles Babbage in 1882, but it doesn't resemble what most would consider a
computer
Use synonyms
 today. Without
this
Linking Words
 invention
Add a comma
,
show examples
we could not use
i
Add an article
the
show examples
nternet and other modern gadgets. People who can think that computers have more negative effects
for
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 children and adults are wrong. They think like that due to they live in the period of time when human did not have the internet and general knowledge about it. Children should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
study how
Use synonyms
w
Add the particle
to
show examples
ork with
computer
Use synonyms
 and how is it working. From my personal experience
Add a comma
,
show examples
I can give you
e
Add an article
an
show examples
xample, one my friend did not want to learn
this
Linking Words
 lesson because he believed that it is not needed in the future.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
one day his teacher gave
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
homework to do
p
Add an article
a
the
show examples
resentation and report about one of the science.
Accordingly
Linking Words
 of his misconception about the importance of the
computer
Use synonyms
, he could not do these simple homework. After
this
Linking Words
 moment he
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 to learn
this
Linking Words
 subject and
now
Correct your spelling
how
show examples
 he became a programmer. So children without
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
basic intelligence they
won't
Correct your spelling
want
show examples
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 with
Use synonyms
c
Add an article
the
a
show examples
omputer. Students should know how to
work
Use synonyms
 with different programs
such
Linking Words
 as Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft
Power Point
Correct your spelling
PowerPoint
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
they need to know about how to use
k
Add an article
a
show examples
eyboard when you are chatting. They should have knowledge about simple commands on
k
Add an article
a
show examples
eyboard,
for instance
Linking Words
, ctrl+c for copy, ctrl+v for insert, Ctrl + Shift + Esc for Task Manager and so on.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, IT subject at school can be boring for some children, so we need to it interesting and informative. They can teach them by watching
s
Add an article
a
show examples
pecial cartoon or
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 playing
v
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ideo game.
Also
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
they need to practise their new information on the
computer
Use synonyms
 with games or questionnaire. In conclusion, computers are very important in our life, so every adult and children must know basic information
Verify preposition usage
about
on
show examples
how to
work
Use synonyms
 with it.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, IT lessons have more advantages than disadvantages.
Submitted by Yerbolat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Edutainment
  • Multimedia resources
  • E-learning platforms
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Ergonomic hazards
  • Cognitive overload
  • Technological proficiency
  • Blended learning environments
  • Instructional technology
  • Adaptive software
  • Screen time management
What to do next:
Look at other essays: