obesity has been found to be a serious health hazard the world over , over the past few decades. what are the causes behind it and what are the effects of it on various sections of the community?

#obesity #health #hazard #world #decades #effects #sections #community

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no gainsaying the fact that

obesity

has become prevalent in the world over recent years causing several health hazards to individuals.

This

intends to analyze the reasons behind

this

phenomenon

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and would look into the effects it is going to have on the certain sections of the

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

. The most obvious cause of

this

obese society is the sedentary lifestyle of masses. These days most of the

work

of individuals in done with the help of machines , and they have no need to do any manual

work

or physical

work

owing to that.

This

has left them with a lot of

leisore

Correct your spelling

leisure

time which they spend sitting with their mobiles and other electronic gadgets which resultantly is making them prone to

obesity

. Another reason behind

such

a situation is the unhealthy eating style of people. With the easy availability of ready to made eat food, people rarely cook at their homes. They most of the times order it from nearby restaurants or have frozen food at homes which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

filled with a lot

Add the preposition

show examples

preservatives and

spieces

Correct your spelling

species

spices

that becomes the cause of their

obesity

. Having

such

a trend would make masses to have more

obesity related

Add a hyphen

obesity-related

show examples

diseases

such

as diabetes, heart attack in the upcoming years.

This

has even started to show its effects when we hear youngsters getting heart attacks.

This

would

also

be a burden on the governments when they have to provide people with more health facilities for

obesity

. More number of obese people would

also

mean having less workforce. As it is seen that more the unhealthy any individual more he has to suffer while doing any physical

work

. To conclude, sedentary and unhealthy eating lifestyle is the root cause

behind

Verify preposition usage

show examples

this

situation. The visible effects it is going to have will be on the youngsters when they need health services , and find

difficulty

Replace the word

difficult

show examples

to cope with physical stress.

Submitted by arah.kaka011 on Thu Nov 26 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such as hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoying nature. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities?
It is true that, nowadays youngsters spend less time outside doing various physical activities. This essay will explain the root reason and suggest some solutions to tackle this problem.
5
band
Some people think that parents should deal with their children's poor behaviour, while others believe it is the government's responsibility to regulate it. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.
It is believed by individuals that parents should negotiate with their children's bad behaviour. However, others assume that improving kids' ethics is the government's priority. Both perspectives are significant and in this essay I will discuss them.
5
band
You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. -Explain the problem. -Say why the documents are important. -Suggest a solution.
The reason why I am addressing you is to request you find the plane ticket that I left at Hilton, Tashkent on February 12, 2024.
4.5
band
The best way to make roads safer is to make vehicle drivers take a driving test each year.
I to some extent reinforce the new rule that every driver should retake their driver's licence each year to make the road safer. while this approach has some merits, it also faces with significant drawbacks that make it an imperfect solution.
6.5
band
Many people think it is the government’s responsibility to ensure the provision of good health care for everyone in the community and that each individual should be cared for by State medical programmes. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
According to some individuals, good healthcare services in society should be the responsibility of the government of that country along with medical programs for the community. I strongly agree with the above-mentioned statement, since every working person gives a major part of their life to work and also pays taxes on their earning to get advantages of the government's provided healthcare facilities which should be free for them.

obesity has been found to be a serious health hazard the world over , over the past few decades. what are the causes behind it and what are the effects of it on various sections of the community?

Fully explain your ideas

These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such as hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoying nature. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities?

You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. -Explain the problem. -Say why the documents are important. -Suggest a solution.

The best way to make roads safer is to make vehicle drivers take a driving test each year.

Many people think it is the government’s responsibility to ensure the provision of good health care for everyone in the community and that each individual should be cared for by State medical programmes. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?