Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions
In the modern scenario,
as
the pace of everyone’s life is getting faster Correct word choice
apply
due to
busy schedule
. Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
As a result
, the families who take care of their elderly nowadays, not getting
enough Wrong verb form
get
time
to look after them. This
essay will intend to deliberate not only problems but also
solutions in subsequent paragraphs.
To open the deliberation, the first tenable aetiology is lack of time
and the negligence of high-quality help and care to the senior citizens. As in most nuclear families, an adult is working therefore
, they do not have spare time
to pay full attention and Add a missing verb
be presence
presence
at home when their parents need Replace the word
present
the
most Correct pronoun usage
them
especially
during their old age days. Add the comma(s)
, especially
For Instance
, after certain
age elders will become Correct article usage
a certain
dependant
on their children even for basic needs Replace the word
dependent
such
as food, medicines and travelling whether to meet relatives or doctors regular
visits. When they do not get these basic necessities on Change preposition
for regular
time
it gives
negative impacts on their brains as they Verb problem
has
started
feeling like a burden on their families Wrong verb form
start
Consequently
, seniors have become socially isolated and struggle to survive, which is leading
to mental crises Wrong verb form
leads
of
Change preposition
apply
them
and problems with health.
Despite having the aforementioned problems there are definite solutions which will be beneficial for senior citizens. Mostly, working parents should teach their kids to be available and provide basic help to their grandparents in their absence. Correct pronoun usage
apply
However
, in critical cases, they should hire a full-time
nurse for them. Even
Rephrase
However
though
the government should establish a social service program that will provide the elderly with all essential help. To exemplify, in order to improve the quality of social interactions there should be free membership Correct word choice
apply
social
clubs, where every pensioner could come and take lessons Change preposition
in social
of
dancing, singing or other creative activities. Change preposition
in
Thereupon
, they will become more cheerful, healthy and interested in life.
To recapitulate, the main problem arising when elders are not getting enough time
from their family
is that the quality of life of the older generation is decreasing. Fix the agreement mistake
families
Hence
, the authorities should establish the
help centre for them to provide them with all mandatory help.Correct article usage
a
Submitted by Priyanka Manhas on
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Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the problems faced by families in caring for the elderly and provides possible solutions. However, there is room for improvement in maintaining a clear focus on the task throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates good organization and a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The ideas are well-supported and coherent. However, there is scope for tighter integration of ideas and smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.