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Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions

#people #care #time
In the modern scenario,
as
Correct word choice
apply
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the pace of everyone’s life is getting faster
due to
 busy
schedule
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schedules
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.
As a result
, the families who take care of their elderly nowadays, not
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 enough
time
 to look after them.
This
 essay will intend to deliberate not only problems but
also
 solutions in subsequent paragraphs. To open the deliberation, the first tenable aetiology is lack of
time
 and the negligence of high-quality help and care to the senior citizens. As in most nuclear families, an adult is working
therefore
, they do not have spare
time
 to pay full attention and
Add a missing verb
be presence
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presence
Replace the word
present
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 at home when their parents need
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 most
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 during their old age days.
For Instance
, after
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
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 age elders will become
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
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 on their children even for basic needs
such
 as food, medicines and travelling whether to meet relatives or doctors
regular
Change preposition
for regular
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 visits. When they do not get these basic necessities on
time
 it
gives
Verb problem
has
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 negative impacts on their brains as they
started
Wrong verb form
start
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 feeling like a burden on their families
Consequently
, seniors have become socially isolated and struggle to survive, which
is leading
Wrong verb form
leads
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 to mental crises
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and problems with health. Despite having the aforementioned problems there are definite solutions which will be beneficial for senior citizens. Mostly, working parents should teach their kids to be available and provide basic help to their grandparents in their absence.
However
, in critical cases, they should hire a full-
time
 nurse for them.
Even
Rephrase
However
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though
Correct word choice
apply
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the government should establish a social service program that will provide the elderly with all essential help. To exemplify, in order to improve the quality of social interactions there should be free membership
social
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in social
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 clubs, where every pensioner could come and take lessons
of
Change preposition
in
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 dancing, singing or other creative activities.
Thereupon
, they will become more cheerful, healthy and interested in life. To recapitulate, the main problem arising when elders are not getting enough
time
 from their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 is that the quality of life of the older generation is decreasing.
Hence
, the authorities should establish
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 help centre for them to provide them with all mandatory help.
Submitted by Priyanka Manhas on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the problems faced by families in caring for the elderly and provides possible solutions. However, there is room for improvement in maintaining a clear focus on the task throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates good organization and a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The ideas are well-supported and coherent. However, there is scope for tighter integration of ideas and smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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