Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In modern
life
,
moneyis
Correct your spelling
money is
increasingly trending. The majority of people believe that
money
is one of the aspects that lead to
success
while
there are others who hold the view that a successful
life
which is results in hard
work
and resoluteness.
This
essay will elaborate on both their advantages and disadvantages and summarise the writer's opinion.
Initially
, almost all great things in the world come from
money
. Being wealthy may make somebody from nameless to well-known.
In addition
, having good fortune means there will be more opportunities to pursue the ideal
life
,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
have a high quality of the level of educational background.
Moreover
, we can not deny that a person's appearance is a main factor in being successful in some sectors. Take Harlan Sanders as a good example , who decided to try franchising their KFC concept across the US.
As a result
, it was a
success
and he quickly became a multimillionaire,
also
his wealth is still known until now. Turning to the other side of the argument, hard
work
and determination are
also
the qualities which lend a hand to the individuals to lead to their
success
.
To begin
with, passion in some sectors will give people the power to overcome difficulties and reach their failure.
Furthermore
, there will be more value in the career if the employee
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
with enthusiasm .
Hence
, the experiences that are gained from the verve in
work
will be more valuable than
money
can not help
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
buy.
To conclude
, there are a large number of individuals who decide their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
by using
money
whereas
others tend to try hard to reach their dream
life
. From my perspective , backbreaking
work
will be a great motivation for people to follow their own
success
.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear, logical structure. This involves not only having a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but also using clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph and maintaining focus throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphing effectively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, introduced by a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that develop the main idea.
Task Achievement
Try to fully address all parts of the task. This means discussing both viewpoints given in the prompt and also providing your own opinion clearly and in detail.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas more comprehensively. This can involve explaining your points in more depth, expanding on your examples, and providing more detailed analysis and discussion of your points.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points where possible. These examples can be drawn from your own knowledge or experience, from the prompt, or from other sources, but they should always be relevant and be used to directly support the point you're making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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