It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

It is occasionally thought that travel makes the
mind
broad. I totally agree with
this
statement and I would like to explain the reason why I think that as follows.
First
, travelling leads to us having deep and plentiful life experiences and flexible thinking
as well as
Add the comma(s)
, as well as attitude,
show examples
a
Add an article
an
show examples
ttitude can be cultivated.
For example
, some years ago, I enjoyed reading books about history. At that time I read a book about Japanese history and one year later I had a chance to visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Osaka, Japan. Throughout the travel experience, I felt my knowledge about Japan history had become more of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
living memory and I could understand the story of Japan more deeply.
Second
, I think
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
also
includes reading books. As an indirect
experiences
Correct the article-noun agreement
experience
show examples
, reading books has
also
the very same power of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. The benefits of reading books are many and above all our
mind
becomes more thoughtful and wiser to deal with many problems. Regarding
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
information itself, we can get many useful tips and ideas in
traveling
Change the form of the verb
travel
show examples
books. To sum up, I totally agree with that throughout
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, we can make our
mind
broader.
Therefore
, I try to encourage my children
t
Add the particle
to
show examples
ravel to remote places to strengthen their
mind
and I hope those
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
experiences will help them to overcome various difficulties in their life.
Submitted by ieltsirene on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: