More and more people in the city live in homes with small spaces or no outdoor areas. Do you think it is negative or positive development?

#people #city #homes #spaces #areas #development

Due to

urbanization, many

people

are willing to settle in cities.

Hence

, these

areas

are really becoming congested and

people

are forced to live in those

areas

with very

less

Correct word choice

little

show examples

space around.

According to

me ,

this

is obviously a negative development.Through

this

essay, I will try to elaborate my opinion

along with

relevant examples. To commence with, there are many reasons for which

people

are ready to live in those small spaces in a metropolis.Job opportunities are luring them to leave their villages and settle in a city for a luxurious lifestyle.

Thus

a lot many

people

come to these central

areas

In addition

, to gift their children a better education, many are shifting to cities.Real estate agents are making cash by using all these opportunities by constructing apartments with very less

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

but with a huge number of houses.

For instance

, nowadays ,every nook and corner of a developed area is filled with apartments.

However

, there are numerous disadvantages to living in a kind of

homes

Fix the agreement mistake

home

show examples

with very small room

areas

and no outdoor places.First of all,

this

environment affects the kids very much because if there is no space for them to play

then

their mental,

as well as

physical growth, reduces.

Furthermore

, when our relatives arrive, we can not make a room for them .

Hence

, our relationship with them gets

worsed

Correct your spelling

worse

worked

and they feel to leave soon.

Last

but not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

least, it is said that our mindset will surely be affected if there is no greenery around us.

For example

green

Correct article usage

a green

show examples

environment and fresh air will automatically remove all the negative energies in our home.

To conclude

, I strongly opine that

this

kind of living will definitely affect the present

as well as

future generations ,both mentally and physically . One thing is that

people

should try to maintain some healthy habits like yoga ,

meditation

Correct word choice

and meditation

show examples

to prevent the negative effects if it is mandatory to live there.

Submitted by Sri on Sat Nov 28 2020

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extended advice

Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. There is a good attempt to support the opinion with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more in-depth exploration of the positive and negative aspects of living in small spaces.

extended advice

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay follows a logical structure, with an introduction, body, and conclusion. There is a clear use of transition words and cohesive devices to link ideas. To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph discusses a single main point and that ideas are linked more explicitly throughout the essay.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people in the city live in homes with small spaces or no outdoor areas. Do you think it is negative or positive development?

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