IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less. You should write at least 250 words

#people #drinks #drink
Carbonated sugary drinks are more and more consumed by people. In fact, the consumption of these products is increasing. After drinking the
drink
, a person s mood may improve for a while.
This
 is due to the large amount of sugar in the
drink
. But his happiness wont
last
 long. I think
this
 was influenced by
drink
 advertising. Nowadays, drinks advertising can be found everywhere: TV, internet,
drink
 vans, etc. Companies producing drinks as coca-cola, pepsi, fanta more videos famous sportsmen are being filmed. And these videos are getting more creative and persuasive.   We need to decline consuming of sugar drinks. Governments should impose heavier taxes on sugar-based drinks. By doing so, the number of sugary beverages available to consumers might be curbed.
Otherwise
, the prices would be higher, which, I think, might discourage some groups of people from using them.
Furthermore
, dealing with
this
 problem
also
 involves educating people about the negative impacts of these products have on people’s health. If
this
 is implemented, people would be more health-conscious and start drinking other alternative drinks
such
 as tea
instead
 of sugary drinks.  In conclusion , the problem consuming sugar drinks can solve with heavier taxes
Submitted by zholdas.galiya on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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