Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

Competition has been a part or lives since childhood, be it getting high grades or coming

first

in a race. While many believe that the act of competing should well

fostered

Change the verb form

be fostered

foster

show examples

in children, there are those who think teaching co-operation

instead

is more beneficial in the future.

This

essay will discuss that

although

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

confidence can be increased when one competes, in my view it is more important to learn to work together. In a way, it is understandable when some parents push their children to achieve the highest rank in academics or sports in their class.

This

is usually because they want their child to gain confidence and perform well under pressure. They believe that if a child can push through a situation and excel at a younger age, he or she will always rise to the occasion at later stages of life.

Therefore

some people focus on instilling the habit of competing in children from a younger age.

On the other hand

, there are those who teach their children to work mutually with their fellow classmates or friends.

This

not only helps them learn to be compassionate but

also

allows them to respect others' perspectives. Unlike the olden days, schools have started to avoid a grading system for their students, as they feel the kids get along better and there is no discrimination in class between the very smart and averagely smart students. It is

there

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their

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factors that play an important role in adulthood and is the primary reason people prefer co-operative

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. We cannot deny we live in a world of constant competition. Even though there are those who stand strong with the view that

this

is good for children, in my personal view, it is always those who learn to work with combined effort

Add the particle

show examples

ucceed in life.

Submitted by ektarohra30 on Mon Nov 30 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?