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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for educationand constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

College and universities admissions are considered high for the average scholar. Which makes the students
to
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apply
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combine jobs while attending
school
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,
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 a result of that it puts a major stress on the scholars.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly due to lack of sleep and high
tuition
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 and can be solved
through
Verify preposition usage
by
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 offering student employment and
b
Add an article
a
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ig variety of scholarships. The root causes of constant stress while working and studying are sleep deprivation and high
tuition
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. Today
b
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a
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ig number of students is suffering from anxiety and difficulty in paying
tuition
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, in which delays graduates from saving for retirement.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because students who want to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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 in
school
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 must allocate money for college loans to be able to pay for admissions, in a result of that some of the students are in debt and
work
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 many hours per day, in a consequence, it causes tiredness and depression, which can lead to health problems. An excellent example that illustrates
this
Linking Words
are
Change the verb form
is
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 students studying for a degree in teaching who do not have time to devote to preparing lesson plans because they
work
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 long hours, which is caused
as a result
Linking Words
 of workplace demand and requires them to lose hours of sleep in order to complete their tasks. Possible solutions to these problems would be to raise the number of scholarships and offer
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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 jobs within the
school
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.
Such
Linking Words
 as teacher assistants, receptionists and program assistant, thereby giving the scholars opportunities to get a scholarship or be able to manage their timetable more easily by having
work
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 benefits. Occidental college is a known liberal art
school
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 that has high
tuition
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 of 35,000$ per year but offers student’s employment
such
Linking Words
 as a core program assistant, the “Obama scholars’ program” which gives a full and half scholarships and athletics scholarships to help the students to pay for
tuition
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 and living. To conclude, the main problems with causing mental and academic problems for students are high admissions and sleep deprivation, and it will ultimately lead to students to be under pressure mentally and financially from taking loans, but a possible solution could be to raise the number of scholarships options and offer student employment with
work
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 benefits that already being offered in schools like Occidental college. It is predicted that more and more schools will be forced to give
such
Linking Words
 options for students to avoid mental stress and lack of education.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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