Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I agree with the statement that Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Every area of the world has their individual health care policies and different people facing various types of diseases. Today
w
Add an article
the
show examples
estern world spend
h
Add an article
a
show examples
uge amount of money on their citizens but
comparitively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
very less amount on prevention. It often
seen
Add the auxiliary verb
is seen
show examples
that every problem has its solution in it. The Government can
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
do various things to solve these types of issues.
For instance
, awareness about healthy lifestyle, Strict rules for product packaging to maintain its category with red, green and black marks. Health education should start from school level so that after few years Authorities will get good results out of it. Majority problems regarding illness
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
due to lack of body fitness & proper knowledge etc.
However
, The Government can promote bicycles or walk for short distance
instead
of
c
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ar or other vehicles. It will
also
some how
Correct your spelling
somehow
show examples
s
Add the particle
to
show examples
olve traffic problem too. They can keen keep eye on agriculture where chemicals are used. A basic reason
of
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
long term diseases like Cancer, Stroke is behind it. Every country
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
their
their
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
own reasons like people don't understand, we can't change
this
situation due to
h
Add an article
the
a
show examples
uge population and so on. Best way to solve
this
issue is to
first
teach people what is
h
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ealthy lifestyle, prefered food according to their location, importance of fitness, regular time out of
b
Add an article
the
show examples
usy schedule for their own
body
Replace the word
bodily
show examples
wellness. Parents are role models for children once they start everybody start. It is
also
understood that some illness arises suddenly without any prior symptoms.
Awarness
Correct your spelling
Awareness
about health, caring, regular body fitness
excersize
Correct your spelling
exercise
realy
Correct your spelling
really
makes a difference. Though
g
Add an article
the
show examples
overnment can't avoid spends over treatment but
this
will change
p
Add an article
the
show examples
icture completely.
Submitted by hKc47$p# on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: