IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customer travels to large shopping centre and mall to do shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

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The field of commerce plays
c
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a
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rucial role in people's daily life. While the number of
trade
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 and outlets
experience
Change the verb form
experiences
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a
Remove the article
apply
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sustainable growth, other small
trade
Use synonyms
 points have been closing. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 trend has more benefits than demerits and in
this
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 essay
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,
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I will provide reasons to support my viewpoint.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the establishment of shopping
centers
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centres
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 is beneficial for unemployed ones
as
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apply
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to support the operation of malls dozens of people are required. A case in point would be Mega Center Almaty, where almost
t
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a
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housand
trade
Use synonyms
 specialists found their working place.
Moreover
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, these professionals tend to have career growth and higher salaries.
In contrast
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, small shops provide only one or two positions and as a rule
Add a comma
,
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these sellers or cashiers earn less than those who work in malls.
Secondly
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, multibrand stores provide a plethora of choices in goods;
consequently
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, consumers can choose the best products by relevant price.
For instance
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, the majority of Almaty citizens often purchase clothes in Dostyk Plaza, as there provided the best famous brands.
Moreover
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, local fashionistas can buy expensive purses by affordable price during the annual sale. To compare, in small shops the variety of goods is very limited and prices are fixed during
w
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the
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hole year.
Last
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 but not least, mall visitors can combine shopping with leisure as each conventional
trade
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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 provides endless entertainment options
such
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 as restaurants, children playgrounds, cinemas, computer game clubs.
For example
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, for me
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,
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the perfect place to spend my weekends is one of the local
trade
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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, as I can buy
there
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their
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 necessary items and spend
p
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a
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leasant time with my friends. To conclude, it is irrefutable that having big
trade
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 is advantageous for people.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments should support and allocate more
such
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 places.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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