IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people believe that having a fixed punishment for all crimes is more efficient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a debate among lots of people, who believe(s) that all offenders must have a fixed penalty term and drastic measures.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 view has many pros and cons, where I will analyze in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay. On the one hand, fixed punishment gives more reasons to support
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 takeaway with stable terms for all penalty cases. So it would be so equitably for all deceivers, where they can know about dreadful consequences and not
to
Change the verb form
apply

The word to is usually unnecessary after the modal verb would. Consider removing it.

show examples
mull over it and as the result
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase as the result. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
many people won’t make punishments. For the rest of
p
Add an article
the

It appears that an article is missing before the word people. Consider adding the article.

show examples
eople
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase For the rest of people. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
it would be
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 an excellent example
about
Verify preposition usage
of

It appears that the preposition about may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
 future obstacles.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Swedish have
l
Add an article
a

The noun phrase low level seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
ow level of crime because they are familiar with their laws and hurdles for career prospects or future life. On the flip side, we have some flamboyant drawbacks, where the
judge
Replace the word
judicial

The word judge doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 system should be flexible for each case, especially for people who protected itself against killers. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 case
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this case. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
we couldn’t judge these people with the other offenders, who pursued goals and comprehended it. The judge departments have to consider these cases and pay all attention, including all reviews, details and proofs, where the future term for people can be rectified and get a shorter period due to affective state. All in all, we have a plethora of factors that can impact on the term of penalty. The precise verdicts should be analyzed through all reviews, especially for people, who defended itself from criminals and tried to survive despite the effects. (259 words)

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: