IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

what are the advantage and disadvantage of Living on campus while student study at University

Nevertheless
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Life
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
campus
Use synonyms
 gives a unique experience to every student which has various positive effects
as well as
Linking Words
 detrimental effects on
pupil’s
Correct article usage
a pupil’s
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. I would like to discuss both
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 of living on
campus
Use synonyms
To begin
Linking Words
 with,there is the Multifarious advantage of living on
campus
Use synonyms
 when students
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 in the university.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and foremost
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 is that
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
life
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
campus
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 self-reliant they
started
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
 to do their work by
self
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 rather than to
depends
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
 on others they become more careful about their luggage and get to know the actual value of the time they manage their time make
plan
Add an article
a plan
show examples
 to do every work. Apart from
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 living on
campus
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 safety to
children
Use synonyms
 but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is less expensive
also
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the hostel of the
university
Add a comma
university,
show examples
 nobody can harm others because wards of
campus
Use synonyms
 do patrol every night and good infrastructure is provided by the
campus
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living on
campus
Use synonyms
 has some disadvantages
also
Linking Words
,
for instance
Linking Words
, students miss their real
life
Use synonyms
 they cannot attend their family functions sometimes feel alone and miss their parents badly which
distract
Correct subject-verb agreement
distracts
show examples
 them from their studies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 living
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
campus
Use synonyms
 students cannot meet with new people and cannot fetch news
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 outside. Sometimes
children
Use synonyms
 get
bore
Wrong verb form
bored
show examples
 in the hostel by watching the same scenario every day. In conclusion, every coin has two sides living on
campus
Use synonyms
 has advantages and disadvantages
also
Linking Words
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
every University should provide more facilities like playing time, art classes,
singing
Correct word choice
and singing
show examples
 classes
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
campus
Use synonyms
 so that
children
Use synonyms
could
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not feel
bore
Wrong verb form
bored
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly with paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and within those paragraphs, each idea should be distinct and easily identifiable.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, elaborate on how living on campus saves money and discuss specific safety features offered by campus accommodations.
task achievement
Avoid repeating similar ideas - each point should add new information. For example, both points about becoming self-reliant and managing time effectively fall under the same general idea of independence.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, neatly framing the discussion of living on campus.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of living on campus, which is relevant to the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: