IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places
Every
country
 has its own significance in representing
their
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 own arts and culture. I am of the opinion, spending on past cultures and sculptures has significant disadvantages over the advantages.
This
 essay will discuss
on
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
how the same funds can be utilized for the welfare of the
country
 and its citizens. On one hand, countries should allocate money in developing basic amenities to
p
Add an article
the
show examples
ublic,
such
 as drinking water, reliable health care, which helps to enhance
l
Add an article
the
show examples
ifestyle of citizens.
For example
, Finland stood as
r
Add an article
a
show examples
ole model in education, after shifting spending on cultural importance to develop facilities in schools.
Furthermore
, governing bodies ought to consider their funds on developing
country
's
economomy
Correct your spelling
economy
 by facilitating youth with employment and free education, it will tend to build an opportunistic environment.
On the other hand
, possible advantages of spending on advertising history in the form of arts and statues can be
acheived
Correct your spelling
achieved
 by formulating a mandatory subject to all the students in schools, developing a platform in social media.
For instance
,
heritage rich
Add a hyphen
heritage-rich
show examples
 European countries
such
 as France, Germany's art gallery,
musesums
Correct your spelling
museums
museum
 and monuments can be viewed round the clock through digital platforms.
However
, these spending can be routed to pressing issues
such
 as protecting the environment,
adopting
Correct your spelling
adapting
show examples
 to fossil
fuel free
Add a hyphen
fuel-free
show examples
 energies
such
 as green electrical and hydrogen vehicles. In a nutshell, I personally agree, nations should focus on
o
Add an article
the
show examples
verall development of the
country
 and its citizens by effectively allocating their budget,
instead
 of focusing on their past and educating people on it. They can emphasize on educating
next
genetation
Correct your spelling
generation
 at schools to strictly
pracitse
Correct your spelling
practise
 their culture. I believe it helps to cater
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
the basic needs of people
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to build a
well organized
Add a hyphen
well-organized
show examples
 society.
Submitted by ashok.swathi0904 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: