Government investment in arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or dis agree?

In every year budgeting,
I
Add an article
the
show examples
ndian government is allotting some share of profit to the arts and
culture
,
this
is common in all the countries. Some
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
that it is of no use to spend on arts
such
as
music
and
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
. I don't agree with
this
argument, I feel that
music
and
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
is
also
a representation of one's
culture
and heritage and
thus
it should be preserved. It is obvious that we need to invest more on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
public services
such
as increasing the number of schools, building more public toilets, building more hospitals and more.
However
, we should not avoid
to preserve
Change the verb form
preserving
show examples
our arts.
For instance
, if we failed to support the arts and
culture
development department with adequate funds, it will result in the decreasing in tourist attraction to our country and a job loss of 15% of our population. I will explain how.
Firstly
, In countries like our India, arts and
culture
attracts 60% of tourists than the other things. Foreigners
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
to visit places like taj mahal,
jaipur
Change the capitalization
Jaipur
show examples
palace and most
importantly
Replace the word
important
show examples
temples, which is
also
a form of arts. Those historical monuments should be preserved. Adequate funds to corresponding departments will lead to safely preserve it.
Secondly
, As per
t
Add an article
the
show examples
ourism department data, tourism accounts for 15% formal and 10% informal jobs in our country. Consider a business,
such
as
h
Change the article
a
show examples
and oven sarees in south India. The hand owen clothes which has
h
Add an article
a
show examples
igh demand
on
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
foreign nationals
such
as America,
japan
Change the capitalization
Japan
show examples
, UK and
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
. Though they don't wear it often, they are fond of wearing and flaunting it. Sales of
this
types of dress materials
accounts
Change the verb form
account
show examples
for 5% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
south India's turn over, the Arts and
culture
department is procuring them directly from the
weivers
Correct your spelling
waivers
weavers
at a supporting price and selling it in the foreign markets through embassy and E-portals. Indian
music
especially
karnatic
Change the capitalization
Karnatic
Carnatic
show examples
music
draws many
forigners
Correct your spelling
foreigners
towards India. They like to listen
Add the preposition
to
show examples
the classical form of
music
very much.
Theaters
Change the spelling
Theatres
show examples
in India are the most loved
entertainement
Correct your spelling
entertainment
by 75% of the Indian middle class. Though we can hear many fils earning in crores it doesn't fill the pockets all
all
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the artists. Only producers, distributors and some lead artists are
benifitted
Correct your spelling
benefitted
from these fils. The
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
of India is supporting those artists by providing pensions. If we stop funding to
music
and arts, we will loose our classical
music
and
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
, resulting in job losses and tourism revenue. To conclude my point, Though public services
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to be funded more, we cannot stop funding for
music
,
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
and
other form
Change the wording
another form
other forms
show examples
of arts. ther reflect our
culture
and heritage. In our system
Add a comma
,
show examples
we value arts as equal to gods and we should not forget the revenue associated with it. We can use the revenue for spending on public service.
Submitted by ajay92jj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: