IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In recent years, television has contributed most to changing people’s quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #television #people’s #quality #life
Technology has been fascinating
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
mankind for decades now. It has been often discussed that
TV
 has improved the
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 of individuals. I, personally in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
with
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
this
 statement as Television is the best
information
 provider and entertainment source as well which will be elucidated in detail with supporting instances.
To begin
 with,
TV
 has been seen as the main source of
information
 for
m
Add an article
the
show examples
ajority of people. As by watching Television at home anyone can acquire all sort of
information
 be it political, global issues, environment, technology to name a few, by being at the comfort of their own home. A survey,
for instance
, conducted in UK university has shown that people are far more aware with the issues around the world than in the past and all
this
 credit goes to
TV
, to make aware the individuals globally.
Thus
,
TV
 serves the humankind with the updated
information
 and make them informed with all the happenings around the globe. What is more, Television is
also
 the prime medium for the entertainment of the people. Since there are myriads of comedy and other entertaining channels on
TV
, they yield the lives of people with laughter, happiness and
also
 it assists to keep away the boredom of routine life. And
also
, family members sit together to watch television which
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 great quality time and they get rid
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the work and other stress.
This
 has been confirmed by a recent study in the USA which showed that
m
Add an article
the
show examples
ajority of people has chosen watching
TV
 as their favourite leisure time activity to make themselves relaxed.
Therefore
,
Tv
 is deemed as
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 preeminent way for enjoyment. To conclude,
this
 essay has presented that
TV
 has modified the life-style of people by serving as
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 greatest source of knowledge and amusement.
Submitted by hpreetkaursodhi1103 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: