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Writing Samples
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In the contemporary era, science plays a key role in a wide range of aspects.
Therefore
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, the question of whether
scientists
Use synonyms
 should prioritise the improvement of
people
Use synonyms
's lives has become a matter of considerable debate. From my perspective,
scientists
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 should address more pressing issues rather than focus solely on improving
people
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's lives.
Firstly
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, many studies have consistently shown that numerous serious problems have increased over the past few decades,
such
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 as climate change, endangered animals, and ecosystem issues, all of which are crucial for our planet.
Therefore
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,
scientists
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 should consider these problems as the most pivotal matters and strive to alleviate them.
Moreover
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,
scientists
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 should demonstrate equality between humans and animals, as
this
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 is ethical
behavior
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behaviour
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.
In other words
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, a lack of biodiversity may lead to an unbalanced environment and harm various valuable creatures.
This
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 not only contributes to a tragedy in the world but
also
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 brings knock-on effects.
For example
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, bees serve as essential pollinators in the ecosystem. When they disappear, it leads to a collapse in food production
due to
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 a lack of pollination services.
However
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, it is undeniable that science can help
people
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 enhance their standard of living,
such
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 as by increasing wealth, improving products, and other relevant aspects.
Nevertheless
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, if
scientists
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 do not prioritize addressing environmental challenges,
people
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 still cannot have a better and safer quality of life. In conclusion, there are several crucial issues that should be prioritized
instead
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 of focusing solely on improving
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
Therefore
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, the preservation of animals, the maintenance of biodiversity, and the alleviation of climate change should all be considered priorities.

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task achievement
Consider including more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. While you have a clear argument, examples such as specific climate change initiatives or scientific discoveries could strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Although the essay is generally well-organized, transitions between paragraphs could be refined further.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and add depth to your argument.
task achievement
The essay fully addresses the task by presenting a balanced perspective on the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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