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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
Today, in many nations, the population of young adults is more than senior citizens. In my point, there are many benefits with the figure for young adults increasing.
This
 is no doubt that a large
number
 of young adults is beneficial for many aspects of society.I maintain that many young people are able to improve the development of
social economic
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social-economic
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. For the point of consumption, the desire of shopping is stronger among young people,
thus
, they will
choice
Replace the word
choose
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 to
work
 hard for buying something
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 they like,
such
 as brand clothes, bags and etc.
Moreover
, it
also
 has a positive influence to produce activities. Amounts of young people
means
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mean
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 that
work force
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workforce
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 is enough in society, meanwhile, the factory
do
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does
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 not worry about the question that human cost is too high to afford. One the other hand, it is
obvious
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obviously
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 apparent that
e
Change the article
an
the
show examples
xcessive
number
 of young adults
also
 result in
i
Add an article
an
the
show examples
ncrease
of
Verify preposition usage
in
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u
Add an article
the
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nemployment rate. Young people have to seek
work
 to earn
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
’ living or their family. A large
of
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
n
Change the article
a
the
show examples
umber of young adults will face a situation that job is saturated under over
much
Change the quantifier
many
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 young people. Meanwhile, the
number
 of people who is unemployment rise, which
cause
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causes
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 the crime rate will increase. If People who do not have
work
 to earn money, they will think
other method
Change the wording
another method
other methods
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 to earn money including unlawful
work
. More and more young adults engaged in illegal
work
, which will lead to social chaos. In conclusion, many young people have advantages, at the same time, it brings disadvantages. In my opinion, for
s
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ocial economy, it has many merits,
such
 as promoting consumption and providing enough human force.
Submitted by 2541163002 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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