IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that self employment is better than a job in a country or an institution. Discuss both modes of work and give your opinion

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Choosing between
Use synonyms
self
Add a hyphen
self-employment
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employment
Use synonyms
 and
j
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a
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ob is a difficult decision. Some people consider that
Use synonyms
self
Add a hyphen
self-employment
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employment
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provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 flexibility whilst others have contrast viewpoint.
Although
Linking Words
 jobs ensure fixed income, I believe
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self employed
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self-employed
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 people can
work
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 with more freedom. On
the
Remove the article
apply
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one side, jobs are less risky and provide security. A fixed amount is credited at the
month end
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month-end
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 in the account of employees. They plan their expenses
accordingly
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.
This
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help
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helps
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 them to manage their money wisely.
Further
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, time is
also
Linking Words
 fixed and employee
get
Change the verb form
gets
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 regular holidays.
For instance
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,
sundays
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Sundays
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 are off for the people who are in service.
This
Linking Words
 help people to maintain their
Use synonyms
work life
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work-life
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 balance.
Hence
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, in jobs
Add a comma
,
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people are free from risk and receive
f
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a
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ixed income. On the other side,
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
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 have
f
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the
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reedom to decide and choose their timings. They can pick their working hours.
In addition
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,
g
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the
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rowth of their business is directly dependent on their efforts. If people put huge efforts, they enjoy endeavours.
This
Linking Words
motivate
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motivates
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 them and eventually
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,
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they
work
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 hard.
For instance
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,
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
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 stay motivated and
work
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 efficiently.
Therefore
Linking Words
, comfort and growth, both are the merits of
Use synonyms
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
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. In conclusion, both
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
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 of
employment
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 its pros and consequences;
nevertheless
Linking Words
,
a
Add an article
the
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dvantages of
Use synonyms
self
Add a hyphen
self-employment
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employment
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 outweigh
b
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the
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enefits of doing
j
Add an article
the
a
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ob. In my perspective,
Use synonyms
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
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 people have more opportunities to develop.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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