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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that formal “pen and paper” examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Examinations
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 play an important role in evaluating individual educational success. Some people say that traditional
examinations
Use synonyms
 are not the right way to
measure
Use synonyms
 academic achievement. In my opinion, there are many other ways to assess education. In
this
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 essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 discuss different types of assessments with examples. There are many kinds of fields available at present,
where
Correct word choice
and
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 each of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 has a special requirement to
full fill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
show examples
.
According to
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 the criteria, an individual must be assessed based
upon
Change preposition
on
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 the necessity.
For instance
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, a student who is studying
a
Correct article usage
apply
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supply chain management should have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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theory knowledge, where he should memorize all concepts about the modes of transportation and loads.
Hence
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, he or she should be evaluated on a
pen and paper
Add a hyphen
pen-and-paper
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 exam.
Thus
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,
this
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 will help us to
measure
Use synonyms
 their achievement.
On the other hand
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, there is a certain education field, which is evaluated differently. To illustrate
this
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 view, a medical student, who plays a crucial role in society should be evaluated differently.
Moreover
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, she should be evaluated by checking their practical knowledge as they are trained or practised doing surgeries.
This
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 way we can
measure
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 their success in their education. Which
also
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 helps us to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
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accurate
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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 and people to consider.
To sum up
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, not all the
examinations
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 are conducted traditionally. Each should be evaluated as per their necessity. There are many domains which require purely practical understanding
whereas
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 some need only theory.
Hence
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, in my opinion, formal “pen and paper”
examinations
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 are not
correct
Add an article
the correct
show examples
 way to
measure
Use synonyms
 academic success.

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task response
Task Response: Your essay addresses the prompt's specific points, but lacks depth and coherence in the argumentation. Provide clear and in-depth explanations to strengthen your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: You have a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, but the main points lack strong coherence and supporting details. Expand on the connections between your ideas and ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs.
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