IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that social networking sites(such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

There is no doubt that social networking websites
has
Change the verb form
have
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 made the world smaller by connecting everyone together,
although
Linking Words
 it has made it a smaller place,
m
Add an article
the
a
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ajority have an opinion that these sites have had an enormous unfavourable
Replace the word
effect
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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 on both individuals and community at large. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay
Add a comma
,
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I will put forth my discussion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the advent of these online platforms has opened up a limitless potential. From connecting with long lost friends to meeting new people from
variours
Correct your spelling
various
 parts of the planet, just at the comfort of your home.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it has enabled an individual to share snippets of their
life
Use synonyms
 that can
often
Correct your spelling
oftentimes
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times
Change the verb form
time
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 inspire many. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
 point, a friend of mine is a Yoga
enthuasist
Correct your spelling
enthusiast
. On an everyday basis, she shares her fitness videos on
Instragram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
. As a
consequnce
Correct your spelling
consequence
, it has motivated many to lead a more healthy
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 numerous adverse
affect
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effect
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of
Verify preposition usage
on
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such
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 platforms. Unfortunately, what is
potrayed
Correct your spelling
portrayed
 and uploaded on the internet is a pretentious
life
Use synonyms
,
in other words
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Add the comma(s)
,
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'a perfect
life
Use synonyms
'. For
y
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the
a
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ounger audience who are on the internet, perceive what is put up to be an ideal example. As a consequence,
this
Linking Words
 has led to depression and other mental damages.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently it was published that a 21 year committed suicide after constantly spending many hours on Facebook. In his suicide note, he mentioned how he felt his
life
Use synonyms
 wasn't perfect looking at the photographs his friends uploaded. In conclusion, in my opinion
Add a comma
,
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there are benefits of social networking sites,
however
Linking Words
, since it's not regulated, the consequences of spending too much time on it, is far more dangerous.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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