More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. what will be the consequences of this?what solutions can you offer?

In the search for better job opportunities, a huge
number
of people belonging to
r
Add an article
the

The noun phrase rural background seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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ural background are moving to urban areas.
This
can lead to a
number
of negative developments for cities,
for example
, overcrowding and lack of resources in urban areas.
However
,
this
issue is resolvable, if
g
Add an article
the

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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overnment provides better job fortuities and attractive
salary
packages in villages, to attract more people to work there. It has now become a trend among villagers to move to big cities to find better jobs.
This
has led to
l
Change the article
a
the

It appears that the phrase large number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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arge
number
of population from villages move to urban areas which
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject urban areas. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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causing a crucial problem of overpopulation in cities.
This
can lead to
further
issues like lack of resources,
for instance
, due to
this
overcrowding, people can no longer find enough accommodation cities and food shortage is on the rise because the
number
of consumers
have
Change the verb form
has

The verb have does not appear to agree with the subject the number of consumers. Consider changing the verb.

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increased.
However
,
this
issue can be resolved if the
government
takes action and steps
in
Verify preposition usage
apply

It appears that the preposition in may be unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

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to provide better work opportunities in those rural areas that have been ignored previously as well as doubling the
salary
packages.In that way
Add a comma
,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In that way. Consider adding a comma.

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people will be drawn towards staying in their hometowns more and
this
will save the
citites
Correct your spelling
cities

The word citites is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

from growing
more dense
Replace the words
denser

You have used the compound adjective more dense. Consider using the comparative form of this adjective.

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.
For example
, if
g
Add an article
the

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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overnment builds more hospitals in villages and provides the workers extra
salary
on working in those healthcare centres, they might as well just stay there keeping in mind the extra money they are getting for working there.
This
will not only be useful for the betterment of those rural areas but for the cities as well. To sum it all up, we can say that yes, it can be detrimental for big cities when people from nearby villages keep on shifting there, as it can lead to an increase in city population and
hence
a decrease in the
number
of resources.But,
this
obstacle can
be get
Change the verb form
get

It appears that the form of the verb get does not work with be in this sentence.

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rid off if the
government
steps in and helps provide greater jobs with good
salary
packages to make people not leave their agricultural background.
Submitted by jrsdiamond on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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