Some people think that some types of criminals should not go to prison. Instead, they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?
It is important to know what type of punishment serves better
criminals
to keep society
safe. While
some people are of the opinion that all sort
of Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
offender
should spend Fix the agreement mistake
offenders
sometimes
Correct your spelling
some time
on
Change preposition
in
the
jail, I believe that Correct article usage
apply
those
who Change preposition
for those
are
committed Verb problem
have
in
victimless Change preposition
apply
crime
it is better to Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
give them
Verb problem
do
community
service instead
.
To begin
with, the purpose of detention of lawbreakers is to keep society
safe. It is because those who break the law has
been considered a danger to the public. In the case of violent Correct subject-verb agreement
have
case
, like homicide, it is been said that the Fix the agreement mistake
cases
preparators
should stay away from others. Correct your spelling
perpetrators
However
, those who are sentenced for the victimless crime, take burglary as an example, they do not expose the public to danger. If sentence
those nonviolent Wrong verb form
sentencing
criminals
in the
jail will bring about Correct article usage
apply
the
high cost for the taxpayers. Correct article usage
a
Moreover
, it has not appeared that they will not commit the same wrongdoing after release from prison.
In the case of punishment, personally, I believe that penalties should reform people, so they do not tend to re-offend. By putting nonviolent criminals
in prisons in which there
are mixed with dangerous offenders, like Correct pronoun usage
they
murders
, they are more likely to commit a worse after Replace the word
murderers
releasing
. If they are given a chance to work in Replace the word
release
community
service not only, they develop emotionally with others by learning empathyRephrase
apply
also
, society
will take
Verb problem
apply
a
benefit.
Correct article usage
apply
In
the other hand, critics of Change preposition
On
this
with
Change preposition
apply
the
rehabilitative approach justify that to deter Correct article usage
apply
preparator
from criminal justice should be harsh toward them and Fix the agreement mistake
preparators
community
services are not that much
strict so less likely to have that effect. Fix the agreement mistake
apply
Nevertheless
, evidence proves that prison sentences deter criminals
.
In conclusion, in my opinion, putting criminals
who have not shown danger to society
in prison does not deter them from re-offend
and may not reform them. Correct your spelling
re-offending
Moreover
, keeping them in jails cost
expensive Verb problem
is
while
community
service tends to be more beneficial for both sides, offenders, and society
.Submitted by mojgan
on
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task response
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and does not fully address the prompt. Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your opinion regarding the given topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure. Ensure that your ideas are presented in a logical and cohesive manner, and that each paragraph has a clear focus relating to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.